Bullied 2 (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 40

Lucy´s POV

Just our naked bodies, right next to each other. I haven´t felt that good for ages. And it made me forget that I actually don´t want to live anymore, for some hours. After we made love, we fell asleep and right now it´s about 4am, but we couldn´t care less. It feels so good, laying next to Harry. We both know, that we´re wide awake. Harry softly caresses my skin with his large hands and god, I´ve missed his touch.

"I love you." I whisper. I haven´t told him the truth for days now. Although I can´t see his face, I know that he´s smiling.

"I love you, too." He whispers back and I quietly listen to his heartbeat. Still the most beautiful sound in this world. The fact, that I´ll never hear that again, terrifies me.

"I still can´t believe that this is one of the last times you´re laying next to me." Harry suddenly says and he´s right. I can´t answer him.

"I don´t know how my life will be after you´re gone." He contuines saying and it´s strange, I actually can´t imagine him leading a life without me. I´m sure he´ll find a girlfriend again. Harry is the best boy out there and he could have any girl he wants. But if he picks the right one, she will have the best time of her life. I can´t imagine that, though. The fact, that he will touch another girl, yet even sleep with her, makes me kind of jealous.

"You will be okay." I tell him, though. I know he´ll get an awesome job and he will be a good father, one day. I just used to imagine him being the father of my kids.

"Probably. But it´ll take some time." Harry quietly tells me and I nod.

"I will miss you so much." The words suddenly come out of my mouth without even thinking about it. I shouldn´t have said this. It´ll make it just harder for both of us. Harry squeezes my hips and presses a kiss on my forehead.

"You know, you don´t have to miss me if you stay." He whispers. Harry´s words make me dizzy again. The pro- and cons for staying or going, are constantly going around in my brain.

"I know, but I already made my decission." I tell him and he quietly hums.

"I´m sorry, I don´t want to make this any harder for you." Harry says and I shake my head.

"It´s okay, really. I do understand your point. I know that you don´t want me to go." I say and Harry nods.

"Yeah, but I try to accept it. Simply, because I love you too much." He whispers and I have to smile.

"Thank you for everything, Harry. You´re the best boyfriend ever." I tell him.

"I´m going to be single again, though." Harry´s words are almost inaudible, but I understand him anyway. I don´t know what to answer, so I say nothing instead.

Those things are hurting me. I can´t imagine my life without Harry and I don´t know how long I have to wait above here, for him to come to me and be my boyfriend again. Or if that´s even going to work. Maybe there´s nothing when I´m dead. But no matter what, I already made my decission.

"So you´re going to leave this world tomorrow?" Harry suddenly asks and I shake my head.

"Actually, today. In a few hours." I correct him.

"Oh right." He whispers and a single tear rolls down my cheek.

"Are you going to stay with me, while I´m... you know." I ask him.

"I´m sorry, but I don´t think I can do this. I can´t watch you while you´re going to kill yourself with those pills. You know it´s even criminal if I don´t call the ambulance or if I don´t help you." Harry even chuckles a bit and I have to laugh too, now.

"So you´re not allowed to tell anyone that you knew about it. I don´t want to see you in jail." I mock him and we both start laughing harder.

"Will you tell your dad or Lena about it?" Harry asks me but I shake my head.

"No. But I wanted to ask you if you could give them the letters I wrote for them? You´ll also get one." I tell him and Harry nods.

"Yeah, sure." He says and I thank him with giving some kisses on his trained chest. He´s so damn fit.

"Will you do it right here? In the bedroom?" Harry asks and I softly shake my head.

"No. In the bathroom. I guess it´s better there, because there´s enough water to drink and so I can easily just-"

"Please stop it. I don´t want to hear your whole plan how you´re going to kill yourself." Harry suddenly interrupts me. His words are harsh, and they hurt me. I understand him though, it was stupid from me to begin about it in the first place.

"Sorry." I just quietly whisper.

...

Harry´s POV

I needed to go outside. Lucy is basically in the bathroom and she will take those pills. After tonight, I will miss her much more. I understand her for wanting to leave, but I don´t understand her for leaving me. I never will. Appearantly pain is stronger than love. Our love.

I can´t be next room while knowing that she is going to end her life. I just run around the town, not knowing what to do. We made that deal, that I´ll be back in two hours and call the ambulance to tell them, that I just found her. It´s a bit of a lie, but who cares.

I´m not outside long now, but I can´t do this. I need to go back to our flat. I won´t stop her, but I can´t leave her alone either. I promised Lucy for not coming back sooner, but I can´t do this. I can´t act like everything´s okay while my girlfriend is going to kill herself.

I quickly run back to our flat and storm inside.

"Harry?" I suddenly hear Lucy´s voice.

"Yeah?" I scream back. I don´t know if I should go into the bathroom. What does she want?

"Please call the ambulance. The pain is unbearable. Please, Harry." Lucy´s voice sounds way too weak. I don´t even think twice about it while I´m getting my phone out of the pocket and dialing the number. Does that mean she´s not going to die?

Does it mean that she still wants to live?

(I´ve got a bad cold :( but I´ll be okay and I wish you all happy easter!!!! Wohooo I can´t believe it´s already APRIL!

Please don´t forget to give me some feedback. I love you all so much. Thank you for your support!! You know who you are.)