Custom Made For You

Chapter 73- You Know, Anxiety Is A Bitch And A Half

  "Look who finally decided to pay his dear sister a visit. Haven't seen you since grammy died. How are you?" The woman in formal clothing, a warm grey pencil skirt with white long-sleeve shirt underneath a blazer, remarked. Her name tag shone in golden words: NIXIE, GENERAL MANAGER.

Her appearance was slightly similar to Luzien's. The roots of her brightly coloured hair were the same raven black he has. She even had the same aura when I first met Luzien (Yeah, that really awkward car encounter.). The only difference was they had was the way they talked, and the look in their eyes.

"You're here today? As a general manager? You got bored again, huh?" Luzien let out a laugh.

"I did tell you I would be here for a while at the funeral. I can't believe you forgot, damn it. No wonder I haven't seen you waltzing in until like, when you called in yesterday."

"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention?"

"Yeah, good. Now, who are these fresh faces?" she pointed to Airi and my direction.

"This is Airi, she's my friend and also an employee at you-know-where," he introduced her with no problem. But when he turned to me, he blushed. "This is, um, my-"

"Potential forever love of your life? Got it," she cut him off with a nod. "So, c'mon, order something if we're done."

"Surprise me?" Luzien shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah, sit tight and I'll let the food shut you up," Nixie rolled her eyes. She twirled away gracefully, mysteriously disappearing on the way back to the kitchen (Okay, I assume it's the kitchen she went to, or something. I'm a fashion designer, I don't know anything about restaurants so forgive me for that.).

"Well, someone was shy when he was introducing Tol to his sister," Airi teased, eying Luzien. "Cat got your tongue, huh? Or should I say, Tol got your tongue?"

"Can't a person be shy in peace?" he mumbled, looking away, fidgeting with my fingers.

"So, was she your older sister or younger sister?" Airi started to pry.

"You don't have to answer her if you don't want to. Ai means no harm," I whispered.

"I'm right here and I can hear you. But, seriously, older or younger? She seems pretty cool, and she just blew my mind by owning this place. How much power does your family have anyway?" she insisted on knowing.

"Slow down, I'll answer them one by one," Luzien held up both his hand, surrendering to her non-stop inquires. "She's my younger sister, her name is Nixie. She owns this restaurant, and all the other chains related to Gustos. As to how much power my family has is a secret."

"Aw, boo, I was hoping you would answer the last question. I guess we'll never know until Tol here gets married," she fell back to her chair.

"What are you saying, Ai, hush," I gave her the shut-up-you-are-embarrassing-me look. I knew she despised that look, but it had to be done or meaningless words will continue to fill the air.

"Technically, you are sort of correct. He does kinda have to marry me for you to know, if he tells you," he said, unbothered, in an as-a-matter-of-factly tone.

"Who are you kidding? He tells me everything," Airi shot back. "Also, who died? You went to a funeral?"

Luzien shifted uncomfortably in his seat, I rubbed his hands, showing comfort to his current distress.

"Okay, Ai, that's enough, don't go as far as asking about funerals. Let Luzien be, alright? You've already asked a lot of questions," I said. "We can talk about something else, right? Dead people aren't exactly the best to talk about at a lunch table."

She got the message, and started to swirl her water in the glass, tuning her attention to the little tornado forming, "Fine, I'll stop. How're things in the office? Adro said anything to those guys yet? A party maybe? It's already Friday, you're leaving on Sunday."

"Yeah, she told them. Kinda wish you were there to shield me from the swarm of congratulations and such. Sapere was the only one who was sort of passive-aggressive about it, just the usual," I told her, taking a sip of my water after.

"Of course Miss Aude is pissed, her annual rival just took her spot," she cackled, some of her child-like light reflected returned to her appearance. "Holy crap, I'm actually so proud of you. Did I say that already? It doesn't matter. But, yeah, I'm so damn proud of you."

She did say how proud she was of me in the car multiple times, yet it felt good listening it coming out of her mouth, my best friend's mouth. It filled my chest with this feeling of warmth.

"Oh, gods, Tol, I wish I was there to see her face, you know that?" she kept going on about Sapere Aude. "It's so funny, 'cause the whole department knows that this rivalry is so one-sided it hurts. You literally don't care about her and she's just fuming every single time you are a little better than she is. I'm not saying that she isn't capable, it's just that she can't take it when people tell her that she isn't the best."

"I don't really mind having her around though, I feel like I'm going to low-key miss her. She is the reason why I work my ass off every month, not that she'll know that," I sighed. "I feel like I'm really going to miss everyone."

The world went quiet for a while. The silence was as uncomfortable as when you have a bag on your back and you're trying to sit on a chair with back support.

"Do you...do you regret it, Tolmer? It's really not too late, if you really don't want to go," Luzien put his arm around my shoulder.

I shook my head. I didn't regret it, it was just that I felt like things would be so different it scared me. Yet, I can't tell anyone that, it just seemed so ungrateful of me. I should be happy that I got this promotion. Going to Tazania is something I had always wanted, even when the way wasn't what I had originally planned. I wanted to be there when I had enough money, when I got my life together, when I can spend my time the love of my life, Airi, and Samson in an apartment with sunlight, where I can be content with what I have.

The reality was different. I looked at Luzien. Perhaps me going to Tazania with Luzien was my first step towards what I had in mind. Maybe Luzien is the love of my life. It wasn't like I hated the idea. Mayhaps this is my life. Airi might move to Tazania later, or something, along with her significant other. Things are going to be fine, right?

'Are you doing the right thing? What if things don't go your way? What if you mess up there? Do you have a backdoor out? What about your relationship with your brother? Now that you know he exists? You know how change fucks you up. You are making a bad choice by stepping into unknown territory,' the voices I had forgotten started to whisper once again. I had no idea, my brain was a mess, the future seemed like a blur once again. Everything was a blur.

Air started to get cut off. And I couldn't breathe.