Custom Made For You

Chapter 32- I Am Such A Dumbass! AHHHHH!

I pushed him away, creating a safe distance between us.

"Sorry, what did you just say?" I wanted to believe that I misheard him.

"Be my lover is what I'm saying, Tolmer. I want you to be my lover," he said, his voice nearly making me give in.

I shook my head, "I, uh, I need time. I'm sorry, but I need time to think this through." I looked down, avoiding eye contact, I did not want to see how hurt he was. I was scared that it would waver my decision. I wanted him, but, I just can't. I had too much I had to hide from him, I couldn't bear to drag him down. I wasn't ready to open up to him, I feared the judgement.

With my head down, I pushed pass him, heading back to the café. My heart hurt, yet I knew I was making the right choice to keep the both of us safe.

Before pushing the door open, I couldn't help but look back at him. His lonely figure just standing there broke my heart into pieces. I shook my head, holding my tears back before walking into the shop. 'It's for the best,' my brain told me. I couldn't deny it, I knew that it was true.

I dragged myself towards the table occupied by Airi and Vastel. I noticed the looks on their faces. Before anyone could say anything, I instantly asked, "Ai, have you told him yet?"

She nodded, "Yeah, he confirmed that the male might be your brother, because they got matching tattoos a few months before he went into jail. But, he isn't sure who the female is. We can't confirm who she is, yet. Even though she may look like your brother."

"We should leave now. We should meet up again in case of any new leads," I said, unintentionally sounding cold. Thankfully, Airi got the message and stood up, getting ready to leave. She turned back to look at Vastel, "Thanks for the coffee."

We walked out in silence. I checked if Fancy-Ass was still standing outside. No one was seen, it was as if none of that had happened. Of course he would have left, he had nothing to expect and so shouldn't I. Deep down, I knew if he were still there, I would have rushed up to him, hugging him as tightly as possible, not wanting him to feel as alone as he looked.

I wanted the whole walk to be quiet but who was I kidding? I mean, walking with Airi would never be peaceful and I knew she intended to keep it that way.

"So... What happened out there?" she sounded awfully careful.

I looked away, feeling my tears welling in my eyes, "Nothing."

"You sure? You looked half dead when you came back in, y'know. I'm just concerned."

"I know, I'm telling you that I'm fine." At that point, a lump was forming in my throat. I swallowed, in hopes that I could swallow everything in.

"You clearly aren't. I don't know what it is, but, just know that I'm here for you."

I looked up, praying that my tears wouldn't roll down on where Airi was walking. I thought about Fancy-Ass, I thought about my brother, and Vastel. I wondered who was there for them like Airi was for me. They must have felt so lonely. I couldn't take it anymore, I grabbed Airi's sleeve, I felt the warmth of my tears as it slowly slid down my face. I heard her footsteps come to a stop. Rubbing my eyes, I told her, "I love him, so much."