Custom Made For You

Chapter 14- Don't Get Me Started On How Messy I Am

I know what you've been thinking, 'But, Tolmer, what about your brother?' We'll get there when we get there, okay? Chill out, buddy.

"You look tired there. You okay? Should I leave or something?" Fancy-Ass asked. I shook my head slightly, trying not to get water everywhere. Drying up my hair had always been troublesome, it literally requires too much energy, but that was not the point. I wanted to invite him of the door, I really did, yet I let him stay anyway.

"Don't you have work to do?" I sank down into the couch, Samson being the barrier in between the both of us.

"Nah, I finished everything I had to do before 7 a.m. so don't go worrying about it," he started fidgeting Samson's boney fingers.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "7 a.m.... Did you not sleep?"

He shook his head, "I wasn't particularly tired, might as well do some work while I was at it."

"You should have been sleeping. Sleep is, like, a requirement."

"Yeah, I know that, but..."

"But? Please tell me you had a good reason."

Suddenly, he was caged me, with his left arm blocking my right opening, his right hand was resting on my head. I had nowhere to run, Samson was on my left, his hand was on my right, his whole body fully blocked me. He looked me straight in my eyes, "The reason was you, of course. You and you alone kept me up all night. Heck, I was zoning out half the time even when I was working."

I swear, this guy had no sense of personal space. Every second of that moment was awkward, we really had to stop being so awkward with each other. Plus, I was not in the mood for affection or any sort of interaction, I had to start researching about my dear brother. The realisation of Fancy-Ass having to leave struck me then and there. My brain urged me more than ever to send him out of the door. Coldly, I said, "Luzien, if you may, please notice how awkward we are right now. Please understand that I am in no means trying to me rude."

In an instant, he got off of me, stumbling backwards quickly. His sudden movement caused off balance and he nearly fell over when out of instinct I grabbed his hand. Both of our bodies slammed back into the old couch. Heat spread all over my face when I opened my eyes to see that he was so very close to me.

Quickly, I shoved him away, standing up, wanting to keep my distance as far away from him as possible. As soon as he got onto his feet, he headed for the door, making it obvious that he wanted to leave. Rubbing his nose, he looked at me apologetically, "Sorry, I had forgotten about personal space for a second there. I just remembered that I had work to finish. See you at work tomorrow?"

I nodded, unlocking the door for him. I felt like a jerk, sure, but it was also convenient that he had left, I was not ready to talk about my personal problems with anybody. Not yet, especially not him.

I closed the door long after he had left. I walked towards my workspace that was right beside my bedroom, I took out the key for the locked door from the container I had that was right above it.

As I stepped in, the sight of a million scattered paper, used and unused fabrics and cloths, mannequins, and pens and sketch books littered the table. I made my way to the corkboard above the table, picking up papers on the way. I started plucking out sketches and designs that was pinned on, clearing the corkboard little by little.

In a despairing attempt, I tried to find for the one thing I tried my best to hide away for years. When everything was cleared out, the only thing remaining was a sealed opening. Cork and glue was the only thing preventing me from remembering my brother's face. I began cutting open the cork with a blade, revealing a hole occupied by a blue metal box.

I slowly opened the box. A photo of four people stared back at me, my parents faces were scraped away, only my face and my brother's was not damaged. We were so young, we were smiling, we were...together. It was the only picture I had. It was how I chose to remember him.

I held the photo close to my heart, tears welled up in my eyes. Deep down, the guilt was slowly killing my soul.