Nightmare

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She is back

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She is back. We actually have her back.

At first, when I came inside the house it was to yell at Ethan for interrupting one of my important deals. He wasn't even supposed to be back from his own deal in a few days so I couldn't understand what the urge was. But then I saw this grown up beautiful girl standing in the middle of our living room and I thought that I was actually going to have a heart attack.

I knew it was my Lila right away. She still had that devilish look inside her eyes, but as soon as they met mine they turned soft. Her delicate face still had similar traits but now she looked much more mature and like a real woman.

The only thing that bothered me so much to the point I nearly wanted to burn  down the world is the fact that the happiness that was once reflecting all over her face, was gone and replaced by an emotionless mask. An emotionless mask that I was wearing to keep my anger inside, something I learned after years of practice, so what happened to her to be able to manage such a dark thing ?

Seeing her there made all the memories we had together resurface from the cold darkness I was living in.

But the question is how ? How is she still alive ? She died in the car explosion along with mom and dad. We didn't find her body, because they said it was burned down to ashes and we believed them, we didn't even think of looking. Which means that for 10 years, this angel was all alone in this cruel word without the protection of her brothers... Of me who swore to protect her till my last breath...But I didn't.

At that moment I realised that I failed and it angered me to the point where I lost control of my anger and yelled at her. I didn't mean to. And I never felt this miserable after I saw the terrified look on her face when I intended to walk towards her to grip her in a tight hug. She was so scared of me. Terrified...

And it pained me. So I left the house to get rid of this anger by racing with Belladonna. My beautiful Black Aston Martin Victor whose name fits her perfectly , because it means Angel of death, just perfect especially with all the assholes I got to kill thanks to her.

I did what I do best to get rid of my devastating anger. Bet and race. It's all I have been doing for the past couple of years. Drown myself in the adrenaline that pushes me everyday closer to death. Make me Forget.

Forget that the sunshine that made me feel alive left 10 years ago. She was everything to me. But now... she is back.

So after winning a race I got home even if I didn't want to. I wanted to see Magnolia, my Lila, but I was scared to see her feared expression again. Maybe I am just not good for her, I am just going to hurt her even more. She doesn't deserve that. She deserve the world, nothing less.

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