Do It For The District || Stray kids || Hunger Games

VI

"Now, the final person, in District 12 we have . . ."

My brain went fuzzy, of course, I heard my name, I knew what was going on, I heard everything, I just didn't want to process that this little show was almost over.
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There was no more 'this could be a dream'. Now that the day was closer than ever, I knew it wasn't, the curtains were closing, after each interview, the bow signified they were ending the dream, and left backstage to a reality they didn't want to believe was true.

This reality.

The reality every kid dreaded

The reality many people would run away from.

The reality

Nobody

Accepted.

We had come to terms with this reality, we all figured if we came out alive, it wouldn't be all fun and games, there would be serious trauma to follow.

It was never going to be easy to accept this trauma. And it definitely wasn't going to be the same.

The tangled balls of worries in everyone caused an eclipse, to cover any spark of confidence left.

Some people had total eclipses, like Jeongin and Yunho

Others weren't total, but still an eclipse, big enough to only leave a few rays of confidence to shine through.

I knew everyone was scared, and I knew everyone had an eclipse inside them that made everything dark.

So I felt more at ease while answering the questions as the words flew out the interviewers mouth.

The more questions asked, the more worries that threaded their way into the tangle that was already covering my shining sun of confidence. It was going to happen. A total solar eclipse. I didn't want it to happen, I'd normally be excited if I heard from others there'd be an eclipse, but not now... This is a different eclipse that didn't fascinate anyone. If plunged anyone with it into fear and darkness.

I wished this was a lunar eclipse, but under these circumstances, it would never happen. My feelings was the earth, the ball of worries was the moon and my confidence was the sun and I know once that solar eclipse happened, I couldn't do much but wait for it to end, it's what's always happened, up in the sky, or inside.

Some people loved seeing solar eclipses, and got a right old kick out of seeing people ball of worries cover the confidence like a blanket would a small child getting tucked in.

People like that made me so annoyed, they need to experience that solar eclipse to realise it's only fun in their eyes the first time.

Words kept flowing fluently out my mouth to the questions the interviewer asked throughout the whole interview as my mind ran a marathon and more, trying to win against my racing heart. I couldn't tell at the end who won, I just knew the interviews was over.

And so the day drew nearer.

This reality was creeping up slowly behind me, like any villain would a superhero in a movie

I knew it was coming, I just wasn't ready to fight it...

Nobody was

Not Jongho

Not me

Not even Jisung

It was all a surprise attack where we thought we knew what was going on, but in reality, we didn't.

I was silent, so was Dongju and Seungmin, the only person that continued talking was Bora, occasionally laughing, it was a strange laugh, by would be contagious not given the situation any of us were in right now.

We were eating silently, apart from Bora, and let thoughts about tomorrow plague us.

Oh how I wish this was all a fake reality and I'd wake up thankful for another day where I wasn't in the queue to the guaranteed death ride.

...

Laying in bed with an abundance of thoughts keeping your mind from shutting off was never a nice feeling. So of course I wasn't happy when this was happening to me.

How painful will my death be?

Will Seungmin survive?

How will my parents react?

How will everyone play?

Who would want to kill me?

Questions flew at me like a quiz reader was reading them to a contestant in a quiz show.

I wish I could answer like I could the contestant, but I couldn't, so the questioned stayed unanswered and my mind stayed unrested.

This was going to be a long night...

I heard a small noise, I shot up and my eyes scanned my room for the cause of the sound.

"Sorry... Did I wake you?" A soft voice whispers.

I let out a relived sigh when I recognised the voice "no, of course not, what's wrong?" I ask

"I... Can't sleep" he finished, it sounded shameful the way he made it.

"Neither can I" I paused, and we made, what I assumed was eye contact through the dark mist of the night.

"Want to stay here?"

"Can I stay here?"

Our voices spoke at that same time, we both got the idea

"Of course" I agreed to Seungmin's question and let him sit down on my bed.

"What's been on your mind, we can talk it out together to relieve" Seungmin spoke, keeping his soft tone.

"Oh, Seungmin, so many things have been on my mind, Seungmin, I'm so scared, you don't even know, I don't want to die, I don't want to kill either, I don't want to inflict pain on others and their families, it's unfair, and I don't wish it upon anyone, I don't want to be here Minnie, I really don't, I don't know if people will try to kill me, or if they'll go next, I don't know if you'll die, I don't know if my death will be painful if I do, I don't know anything and it's killing me!" I vented, Seungmin nodded, signalling he was listening to what I said

"I understand" he spoke up after a few minutes of silence "I hope you find some comfort in me saying, so many people are feeling the same way as you at this moment in time, it's keeping so many people awake, and I promise you you're not the only one.

I promise I'll stay by your side."