deranged

nine

| tw cutting/ self harm

it has been 4 hours since the incident from the shower. jeongin loved the first kiss they've shared and he couldn't stop thinking about it. he was slightly worried if he was too sloppy or bad at it since it was his first time, but hyunjin seemed to never take notice. in fact he looked like he enjoyed it more than the younger.

he was now wearing a clean set of clothes. hyunjin's white shirt went down to his thighs and his tight shorts that make it look like he wasn't wearing anything underneath the top.

"lix should we go down and check on jinnie? i'm gonna claw my eyes out if i stay in here a little longer." he huffed as boredom swallowed him. he sat on the edge of the bed, swinging his socks clad feet in the air. his nails started to scratch on his wrist where scars litter his milky skin absentmindedly.

suddenly his attention divert to the healed slits. an idea popping on his head as soon as he saw something glint in the corner of his eyes.

cut yourself. go on.

"mmm great idea." he laughed maniacally before running excitedly towards the desk where a series of blades were displayed. it was hyunjin's of course and he knew he wasn't suppose to touch it because from the looks of it, they weren't just any pocket knife you'd see anywhere.

the gold plated metal looked very rare and when he grab it in his hands, it was heavy. jeongin cackled more. "it's perfect lix. how many lines should i do?" he started bouncing on his feet as he was excited to draw blood on his skin and maybe show it to hyunjin too. the elder loved seeing him covered in blood.

without waiting anymore further he start to slide the blade on his skin, eyes set widely as he was focused on his masterpiece. he didn't flinch even when the blade dug deeper, in fact he was resisting himself from screaming loudly because of the pleasure he felt.

giggles left his lips as he start to add more until he reached just above his elbow.

more jeongin

but he couldn't slice anymore as every inch of his left arm was already severed with several cuts. so he sat cross legged on the floor and lift up his shirt, gliding the expensive knife across his soft thighs.

this is where he started to forgot that hyunjin loved his thick thighs and when he see how bloodied and scarred it was, he might not be able to take it.

a soft knock on the door made jeongin flinch a bit but he didn't bother to open it. he heard it creak open behind him.

"hey baby. what're you doing?" hyunjin was finally done from his business and now he slowly trudged towards jeongin who had his back faced at him, seeming to be busy with something as he hum a tune. he knelt behind him and snake his arms around the younger's waist, burying his face and inhaling his fresh scent.

his brows furrowed when the pungent smell of blood suddenly engulfed him. as hyunjin flutter his eyes open, his mouth hung open in shock.

"innie what the fuck!" he screeched, immediately grabbing the knife out of his grasp and ignoring the small protest of the younger.

"what's the matter my love? don't you like it?" jeongin asked innocently as he look up at him with a huge sick grin on his face that had swipes of his own blood.

the elder didn't mind seeing jeongin covered in blood but if its his own? he couldn't handle it. his sick mind was in love with the sight of him slicing open his wrists but knowing he could die, he tried his best to stop them.

without a word hyunjin scooped the little boy in his arms and went towards the bathroom. he kicked open the door effortlessly as he lay jeongin on the empty tub. the younger was losing more and more blood he was surprised he was still conscious.

"jinnie what's wrong.." he pouted as he look at the tall boy rummage through the cabinets. opening and shutting them harshly making jeongin flinch.

"bandage.. bandage.. where are the fucking bandages? shit!" he kicked the bin in front of him out of frustration, his scary shout booming in the room. he gripped on his hair while he look at jeongin who was whimpering in the tub.

"you're scaring me." hyunjin immediately soften as he rush towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist to soothe him.

"baby no.. i'm sorry." he leaned into his face. "what did you do to yourself kitten?" his voice came out a whisper as he shut his eyes painfully.

"you weren't here jinnie. i was losing my mind."
you already have.

;

the wind was cold as it whip past against him, causing goosebumps to appear on his skin. he had a stick in between his mouth and he inhaled before he played with it in his fingers.

"when will you get here?"

"already getting sick of the boy i see." he heard yuri chuckle on the other line. it was the opposite if only he knows. "as much as i want to get back home now, i can't. my stays been made longer. they're thinking maybe 2 or 3 months."

hyunjin sighed in relief, inhaling once more before he puffed the air from his nose.

"that's bullshit but don't worry, i can manage a little longer."

"that's my boy. you have a good night yeah? i'll call again if i'm not busy-"

hyunjin hang up.

he looked at the view right in front of him. crickets were the only thing you can hear and the moon far above makes it more peaceful. jeongin was already in bed asleep.

"jinnie?" or so he thought.

he felt the younger wrap his arms around his bare waist, his bandaged wrist felt rough against his skin. jeongin rested his face on hyunjin's shoulder.

"why are you still awake kitten?" he placed a kiss on the younger's forehead, enjoying the back hug as he pressed himself in further.

"i wasn't but then i heard you talking to someone. who was it?" the elder sense jealousy in his voice and it made him chuckle a little.

"it's no one you should care about. just my boss." then he placed the stick back in between his lips. "cmon lets carry you back to bed." he threw the stick on the ashtray and swiftly carried jeongin bridal style.

he laid him on the bed softly and as he sunk in the bed as well, the younger immediately crawled on top of him for a cuddle.

"baby."

"mhm?"

"don't ever hurt yourself like that ever again."

"but i did this for you. i thought you'd love it." he pouted. jeongin then feel hyunjin's fingers caress and massage his thighs. rising a bit from the bed and leaning closer to the younger's lap to place kisses on the bandaged cuts.

"i'd love it more of you'd keep your skin clean. you almost died jeongin." he sighed and intertwined their fingers together where in that moment, everything seem to fade out. with jeongin in his arms, life suddenly made sense.

"i can't stop it jinnie. i don't have control over myself you know that."

"we'll work on that together, don't worry."

"promise?"

hyunjin despised that word. it was never genuine when someone use it with him but jeongin was different. much more different.

"i promise."