deranged

fifteen

"y-yes."

"good. now spread your thighs open."

jeongin inhaled a shaky breath. his eyes were hollow, emotionless as he did what he was told.

the elder sighed in satisfaction, rubbing his ample thighs with his callous touch. hyunjin was massaging the parts where there were bruises and the boy was contorting in pain, though he didn't show it.

"now answer me. how did you lock the door?" his whisper was so low, his voice came out raspier than usual. one hand lift to touch his cheeks and jeongin held in a whimper as he had been craving for the blonde's familiar warmth.

he was resisting the urge to snuggle into his touch.

wordlessly he loosen his wrists from the handcuffs to show hyunjin while he was avoiding his gaze at all cost. his arms were so bony and thin it wasn't hard to shake free from it.

"you did that without my permission?" hyunjin started to remove his jacket, throwing it somewhere before kneeling in front of the boy.

he grabbed his waist to see if the chains was still in tact and when he saw how it was hanging freely from the bed, he gazed at jeongin.

"h-hyunjin it's not what-"

"you were going to escape from me." he grumbled under his breath. "is that what you're planning, innie?" he undid the metal wrap around the younger.

"no." he replied in a weak, small voice. "i-i swear."

"liar!" jeongin whimpered loudly, not being able to stop himself from sobbing. his body was shivering quite violently but hyunjin didn't care. at least not anymore.

"we started out perfect, jeongin. why'd you have to ruin it?" he stood up and pulled the boy's hair roughly making him yelp.

"i thought for once, someone in my life actually wanted me. but no... you're just like them jinnie. all along you were just using me for your own pleasure." he was afraid of talking but jeongin couldn't hold back anymore.

"use and throw. isn't that what slaves are for? and don't you fucking act like i'm the only one enjoying when were having sex." he tightened his grip on the blue strands of the younger but he wasn't even contorting in pain anymore.

"you know how badly in love i am with the way you touch me and maybe that's where i went wrong." he was sniffling and this was when hyunjin let him go. "i was too hollow, too easy to get."

"stop it." the blonde was starting to back away from him.

"i know you were taking advantage of me, but i didn't mind did i? because for once i felt like i truly matter." jeongin looked straight into the elder's eyes.
"you made me feel wanted . . . and i was instantly blinded by that, jinnie."

"shut up, i don't want another word out of that mouth of yours. understand? now strip!"

hyunjin felt like absolute shit but it's too late to turn back now. he has to finish what he started and apologizing to the younger would make him look stupid, he doesn't want that too happen.

truth was he's scared. he was petrified because he knows what he has for jeongin isn't just plain obsession.

hyunjin loves him. and he despised himself for feeling that way towards the boy.

love is such a strong word, a strong feeling and he doesn't know if could handle the pain and sorrow that follows if everything didn't work out.

that was his fear. he knew he couldn't handle the heartbreak that would eventually come. never did he felt love towards anyone for so long until this blue haired boy came into the picture.

jeongin changed everything, he made hyunjin feel again.

but hyunjin... instead of facing it, he was fighting the feeling. he was in denial because he knows he isn't ready for the commitment and he will never be.
so it was only obvious why he suddenly wanted to hurt the younger.

he thought it could make him hate the boy. make him forget about his love for jeongin.

well he's wrong and deep down he knows it.

;

hyunjin sat at the edge of the bed buckling his pants. he had just finished touching the younger who now lay on the bed badly shivering.

"j-jinnie please stay with me. i d-don't care what you do with my body, just p-please don't leave." his cold hand grasped weakly on the blonde and this made him want to pull jeongin into a hug and assure him everything's going to be ok,when in fact it wouldn't.

"their are sleeping pills on the cabinets inside the bathroom. take those and they will help you sleep easie-"

"those don't work. they never do.." the younger whispered and he sense him crawl towards his direction. "hyung i-i'm begging you. i don't wanna wake up the next day with more terrifying cuts... i might not be able to wake up tomorrow anymore if you leave.."

"jeongin." hyunjin was silently breaking inside as he massage his temples.

"please.. i'll do anything in return. just stay with me." his voice cracked and this made the blonde shut his eyes tight.

"tomorrow i'm calling a friend who could check up on you and maybe he could help with your insomnia." he faced the naked boy with an unreadable expression.

"til then i will be staying with you in here, but i'm not sleeping in the same bed as you." even though i fucking want to

"i can sleep on the floor-"

"no. you sleep on the bed but i want you to clean yourself up in the bathroom while i change the sheets." he said lowly, not meeting his eyes.

jeongin felt his heart flutter. behind his facade there was still the hyunjin that he knows, the hyunjin that he loves. he was still as caring as ever, it was just sad how he try to conceal it away from him.

when the younger swung his legs over the bed to leave and walk for the bathroom, his knees buckle and it continued shaking violently. hyunjin did him rough and that was his first time doing it that way so every inch of his body hurts more.

"jinnie.."

the elder was watching him and without uttering another word he walked towards his side and scooped him gently from the bed.

his skin felt warm and jeongin felt the familiar sparks when they touch. he resisted the urge to cry as he lay his head on his chest. and although he was expecting him to flinch or get mad, hyunjin didn't mind.

instead he set him carefully on the tub just like what he did when they had sex the first time. then he turned the knob, water instantly gushing inside.

the elder finally stared into jeongin's eyes, making his breath hitch. "tell me if the waters too hot."

he still cares.