deranged

twenty five

hi everyone :> please stop spamming my dms with hate saying that im impersonating someone, that's literally my photo and if you dont believe me, lets talk in private and ill give you my ig :)

"fuck!" hyunjin kicked the pebbles and threw the phone on the ground. it didn't shatter but the screen was for sure cracked.

he tugged on his hair roughly, letting out an ear splitting scream making few of the guards run towards him.

"master hwang, is there something wro-"

"fuck off! leave me alone!" he was breathing hard as he shoot glares to the two men standing in front of him.

hurriedly they scurried away and he finally decided to enter the mansion and join jeongin. he wasn't sure how and what he'd say to him, hell he doesn't even know if he'll tell him anything.

hastily he ran through the long flight of spiral stairs and walked further on the west wing of the mansion where their room was located.

when he got in front of the door, the faint sound of water hitting the tiles could be heard. he heaved a sigh and slowly started to remove his shirt while he made his way to the bathroom.

"innie?" he asked, pushing the half closed door open.

"hmm?" he hummed and turn around quickly with a small smile. jeongin was about to turn the knob off but the older stopped him.

"no, don't go out, i'll join you." he murmured while he removed the final piece of clothing he had which was his boxers.

the glass was fogged up with the steam coming from the hot water and when the blue haired boy slid the door open, he was quickly engulfed with warmth.

"babe tell me what's wrong? you seemed so tense." the younger whispered, looking directly into his eyes. he hissed under his breath as the cold hands of hyunjin grazed his bare waist.

"no." was his weak reply. he couldn't even stare at him anymore as his head was hung low. hyunjin burry his head into the nook of the boy's neck, suckling softly.

"w-what do you mean no?" jeongin was now tugging on his hair as he found his soft spot almost immediately.

"innie..i'm scared." he stopped and hid his face. this side of him wasn't full of secrets and nor was he pretending. jeongin could see the side that he'd been trying to hide for so long.

hyunjin was vulnerable and he was finally letting the younger in.

"i'm here. tell me everything that's bothering you." he caressed his face. "let me help you jinnie."

the blonde looked at him with fear written all over his face. telling the truth now is going to be hard and he knows he couldn't risk losing jeongin.

they've been through a lot and he hasn't even tell him he loves him. what if he goes away? hyunjin couldn't live with himself if that happened.

hell he wouldn't even live at all.

"promise me that you'll stay..please tell me you'll stay." the older was now sobbing softly and even though he didn't want to cry in front of him, his feelings had already taken over.

he slid down on the floor and he had his knees pulled towards his chest. it broke jeongin to see him in this state.

"jinnie," his lips were quivering as he was trying his best not to cry as well. he's trying to be strong for him. "you're my home, where else would i go?"

the water was still pouring down on the two of them and no one turned it off. hyunjin's tears mixed with it as it freely slid down his face.

"i'm not who you think i am jeongin. i'm someone you should have never involve yourself with." then he laughed without emotions. "bullshit right? because i was the one who lured you here in the first place."

"i shouldn't have never stalked you. we shouldn't have never met."

the younger gasped, taken aback and hurt at what he just heard.

"hyunjin w-what are you s-saying?" this time he couldn't help but bit his lip as a sob unmistakably escaped from him. he tried to control it but soon enough he was hiccuping as he cried.

"it's selfish of me to beg you to stay and the more the i think of it, the more that i realize it'd be better if you just go." hyunjin was shaking, biting his lip as he forced himself to be strong.

that's right. put jeongin first before yourself.

"what?" he was now massaging his chest as he felt his heart clench painfully.

"leave jeongin. get away from here, get away from me." it came out as if he was begging and he was. the more the younger got involved with him the more he was put to danger.

if yuri came back, he'll hurt no, he'll kill jeongin because that's what hyunjin should've done in the first place. it was his job to do so but instead of obeying, he disregard every rule and took risks just to be with the boy he loves.

"jinnie stop pushing me away" he was hiccuping but he spoke though it was hard. "stop telling me what to do, i'm not a kid anymore!"

"stop being so stubborn. you're still young and you still have a lot to do. don't you see? the more you stay with me, the more you're putting yourself in danger!"

jeongin then threw himself on top of the elder, sitting on his lap as he weakly tangle his arms around the blonde's neck. he was sobbing, tightening his hold on him because he was afraid to let go.

"i don't care. i'm already in danger before we even met, hyunjin. i've lived my life being a coward, hiding because i'm different." there was no point in wiping his tears.

"just this once have i been brave. just for you.." he leaned into him until their foreheads touched.

"you're only hurting yourself."

"i'd shatter my own if that meant fixing you."

"jeongin-"

"i love you. i love you jinnie."