deranged

twenty six

how are yaaalll ??
( once ive finished obsessed, i'll continue my minsung fic and the second book for safe heehee )

"you love me?" the older asked, feeling his heart beating violently against his chest.

"yes-" jeongin smiled at him but was cut off quickly.

"well then stop."

he didn't know what to do, he was lost for words as he feel a familiar ache in his chest. did hyunjin just turn him down?

"jinnie what do you mean-"

"stop talking for awhile and just listen. if you really do love me, you'll do as i say." his voice was hoarse but that didn't stop him from going on.

the younger was hurt and disappointed. he didn't even say 'i love you' back.

"i'll leave then." he breathed out, slowly crawling away from his lap and wrapping his arms around his own torso. "if that's really what you want."

silence engulfed them and it wasn't comforting at all. hyunjin wanted to say a lot but ended up saying nothing instead.

he wanted to pull jeongin back to him and tell him he loves him too. but he was too weak, that even saying what he truly feel is already a huge struggle.

"jeongin"

the younger's eyes widened, his adams apple bobbing up and down as he swallow the lump in his throat. did he really just called me jeongin?

"woah." he looked away, massaging his chest. "go on, say it then. i want to hear it straight from your mouth that you don't want me anymore."

hyunjin pulled on his hair, frustrated.

"that's not what i meant-"

"liar! stop it already, will you?" when the blonde attempted to touch him, he shut his eyes and turn as far as he could get away from him.

"i may be sick hyunjin but i'm not fucking stupid. i can tell okay? i can tell that you're hiding something from me." he pulled his knees to his chest while the other one didn't give up on crawling towards him.

"baby let me explain-"

"you could've just told me from the start that you were already in love with someone else. then i wouldn't have to experience this kind of pain." his voice slowly cracked, tears unendingly streaming down his cheeks.

"what? no! it's not like that at all, for fucks sake listen to me!"

"what's there to explain? i've already had enough of you and your bullshit." then jeongin stood up although he struggled a bit as his knees were buckling.

he held on to the door for support and while shivering, he slid it open and walked out without a towel. water was dripping from his body but he didn't care.

"where are you going?" hyunjin softly asked, all the energy and fight inside of him had already left.

"you don't need to worry about me anymore. you never did anyway." he glanced at him with his red and puffed face. "i'm leaving tomorrow. just like how you wanted."

"innie please." he choked on his own sobs and he was even on his knees now. the blonde let his head hung low.

"i..." the younger stopped for awhile, shutting his eyes painfully as hot tears stained his face once more. "i don't ever want to hear you call me that again." he whimpered.

;

"where is he, have you seen him?"

"master hwang, i believe he was on the other wing of the mansion. many maids have reported to hear crying and things shattering in the furthest room."

he nodded his head, dismissing one guard as he jog back up to the stairs. since he'd been working for yuri the longest, the old man announced that he is to be treated with respect. to him, hyunjin was like the son he never had.

weirdly enough, the connection feels real.

he was wearing sweats and nothing more and as he run through the long hallway, his heart was pacing hoping that the younger was still there.

he finally reached the last room and sure enough there were faint sounds of sobbing. disregarding the thought of knocking, he immediately opened the door and the horror that he saw made him grab onto the knob for support.

"baby what have you done!?"

jeongin, who was covered in his own blood stared at him with half lidded, tired and swollen eyes. his mouth turn into a weak toothy grin.

"you said you wanted me to leave right?" he giggled. "don't worry, i'll be gone soon."

then he lifted his bloodied and slit up wrists, his smile stretching into a wide, eery one.

"see?"

"innie-"

;

happy hyunjuly yaaaalll i cant wait for the selcas and the vlives now that hes back on bbl. btw have you seen his drawing of kkami that he sent on there?? hyunjin is so talented istfg :3