How It Should've Happened

The Open Road

The car ride was to be a long one. About 22 hours drive in fact. Castiel sat in the back, leaning against the window and staring out it with wide eyes. Sam put in earbuds and stared at a thick lore book ("There's no way there's more lore on Pestilence to read?" "Yeah Dean there's always more."). Dean spent the first few hours of the car ride trying to focus on the road and singing along to Led Zeppelin. He found himself glancing into the rear view to look at Cas quite a bit. Sam saw him do it a few times but pretended he hadn't. After about four hours, Cas spoke. "Dean, do you mind if I play something?" He leaned over into the front seat and Dean stiffened at the sudden closeness. 

"Since when do you have cassette tapes?" Dean asked, surprised. Cas pulled one out of his jacket and twirled it in his fingers. 

"I just discovered this musician who does a good job of describing important emotions. I figured I'd make a mixtape of a few songs that I like. It wasn't that hard." He smiled at the tape and Dean almost smiled just seeing him so excited. 

"Who's the musician?" Sam asked absently, having taken his earbuds out to hear the conversation, but still reading. 

"Taylor Swift." Castiel replied evenly. Sam laughed aloud and Dean just sighed. "Can I play it?" He asked again, not understanding their reaction. Dean looked over at him for a second then gestured for him to put the tape in. 

"Yeah sure Cas." Sam sat up at that. 

"Wait really?" He questioned, extremely surprised. "Yeah he's excited it's just a couple." Sam shook his head at his brother's oblivion to his own feelings. Cas sat back and went back to looking out the window. 

"I know all the words too!" He said cheerily and Dean just smirked at the angel's excitement.

"Don't blame me, love made me crazy, if it doesn't you ain't doing it right..."

Castiel was not kidding when he said he knew all the words. He sang along softly in his gravelly voice, mimicking the way Dean always sang along to his music.

"For you I would fall from grace just to touch your face, if you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay."

Dean didn't like Taylor Swift. He never had, but he loved Cas's singing. For this reason, he sat quietly and didn't complain about the music.

"Ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die...You're so gorgeous I can't say anything to your face."

"And all at once you are the one I have been waiting for, king of my heart..."

"The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury."

By the beginning of the last song Dean felt hot. He carefully took his jacket off, one arm at a time, trying to focus on the road in front of him. Sam had been pretending to read since Cas had put his music on. Dean looked like he was sweating and Cas was singing quietly in the backseat. Sam resolved then and there to have a real discussion with his brother about his feelings.

"And I know I make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn, I never learn at least I did one thing right."

"I'm laughing with my lover, making forts under covers, trust him like a brother yeah you know I did one thing right."

"You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?"

As soon as the song ended Cas leaned back over the front seat and Sam handed him back his tape. "Thanks for letting me play it Dean." Cas said happily. 

"Sure thing Cas." Dean said softly. He didn't put in any music after that, just tried to keep his eyes from drifting to the rear view. He wasn't particularly successful. Castiel was smiling. He liked looking out the window at the world speeding by, it felt meditative. Dean had even been in a good enough mood to let him play his music. It was very hot in the car by this point, so he took off his jacket and stretched out his wings a bit. 

"Dean, would you put the air on? I'm hot." Dean didn't respond, just flipped the AC on. He kept looking out the window as a long field came into view ahead. "Can we stop here?" Cas asked suddenly. 

"What why?" Sam questioned. Castiel shrugged. 

"It's hot in here like I said and my wings need a stretch. Could we?" Dean just nodded and pulled the car over slowly. There was no one on the backroads they were using and it felt like they were the only three people on Earth out here. Castiel jumped out of the car and took off as Sam and Dean got out too. Sam decided now was a good time for that talk. 

"So you and Cas? Still nothing?" Sam inquired casually. 

"Mhm." Dean replied, not really listening. 

"Dean." Sam waved a hand in front of his face dramatically. 

"What Sam?" He responded half heartedly. 

"Dean, why were you so nervous in the car?" Sam crossed his arms and stood right in his brother's line of sight. 

"I wasn't nervous." 

"Please Dean, let's not play that game you were sweating like a glass of water on a summer day." Dean felt himself blushing and wished he could stop. "You let Cas play his music. You never do that." Dean shifted a bit and tried not to make eye contact with Sam. 

"Leave it alone Sam, I'm fine." He grumbled trying to avoid him. 

"Dean, would you just talk to me? I've got the policy alright, no chick flick moments but I'm not asking you to cry and yell it from the rooftops alright? Just tell me what's going on." Sam gave him a face that brokered no argument. 

"I don't know man, things feel different. When Crowley went through my head, he didn't make me see nothing, exactly. He just sort of rearranged a few of them so that I could see things differently. It felt like he was wrong at first, but it's just things the past few days. Or maybe it's been there the whole time and I just never noticed." Dean ran a hand through his hair. 

"Dean, you obviously have feelings for him. And I think anyone with eyes could see that he feels the same way." Sam said gently. Dean shook his head, 

"This isn't happening. I mean, I don't do feelings, man! You've seen me go from job to job and find someone new every town we go to. This is stupid, it'll go away in a few days." Dean shoved past Sam and went around to get back in the car. "Cas let's go, had enough?" He said gruffly. Cas touched down in front of him, windswept and smiling. 

"Yes, that should be sufficient." His wings were outstretched and it took most of Dean's strength to look away and get in the car without a word. Cas felt his smile fade and got in the back to resume looking out the window. Sam got in last, letting out a sigh as he shut the door. Dean threw in his Led Zeppelin tape and hammered the gas.

The hours passed quicker for Dean after that. He didn't check the backseat, he didn't let up on his music until it got dark and he didn't slow down unless they were stopping to grab some food. He felt like he had figured out these feelings. If he acted like nothing had happened and acted the way he always had, it was as if nothing had happened. 

An extra long part to make up for the shorter one before this <3