How It Should've Happened

"My Eyes Are Up Here"

Cas bolted awake. He felt strange like he was missing something. He thought about last night but drew a blank until he heard the shower going and remembered that Dean was with him. Then he remembered how he'd embarrassed himself last night. He heard the shower turn off and after a minute Dean came out of the bathroom wearing a towel around his waist. Cas stared. "Good morning Dean." He said into the silence. Apparently Dean hadn't seen him so he jumped when he heard his voice. 

"God Cas, you scared me. When did you get up?" Dean turned his back to him and started gathering clothes. Cas kept staring at his back, watching the muscles in his shoulders move. "Cas?" Dean said, turning around again. Cas felt his lips fall open slightly not hearing Dean as he kept staring at his abdomen. "Cas!" Dean said louder to which the angel blinked furiously and finally looked at him (in the eyes). 

"What?" He said quietly. 

"You okay man?" Dean chuckled, coming a bit closer. Cas scrambled away and walked backwards towards the bathroom and away from Dean. 

"Yes, I'm fine, a shower was a good idea though so I'm going to go do that." He fumbled into a table and whacked his arm on the bathroom door before managing to get inside and slam the door behind him. Dean felt his eyebrows knit together. That was awkward. Cas turned the shower on too hot but he really didn't care. He jerked himself off as the steaming water ran off him in all directions. He didn't know how thin the motel room walls were so he tried to keep the noise down, without much success. Dean. Why can't I stop thinking about Dean? He thought of his green eyes, his hands, his freckles. He thought of his closeness from the night before and especially of just now, casually without a shirt showing off all of his tan muscles. He bit his lip as he finished still trying to be quiet. Afterward, he just stood in the shower trying to suppress his feelings. Dean is your friend. He's not interested in men. Another voice in his head piped up, you're not a man, you're an angel. You don't have a sex you just happen to have a male vessel. He continued to argue with himself, but that's the point. You're in a male vessel, the one that you were destined to have. And Dean doesn't like men. Besides you're an angel, you're not meant to love. Your eternal life should not play out like a Taylor Swift song. He sighed and turned the shower off. He dried himself off and did what Dean had done, put the towel around his waist and went to collect his clothes as fast as he could. 

Dean heard everything that was happening in the bathroom, the motel was far from soundproof. He turned red as he got dressed trying not to listen to the sounds Cas was making. Eventually the bathroom door opened and Cas came out in a towel just as he'd done and Dean stared at the computer in front of him, not really reading just trying not to look up. 

"Dean? Have you seen my blue shirt?" Cas walked towards him and leaned over his bag which was on the chair next to Dean. He sucked in a breath his thoughts flooding with images of what he wanted to do just then and, not trusting his voice, simply shook his head. "Never mind, I found it." He said before walking back towards the bathroom. Dean heard the door close and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He stared at the bathroom door and thought about everything that was in front of him. The apocalypse. The blood. The death. He didn't know how it would go. He could die. It took him a moment but he picked up his cell phone and dialed his brother. 

"Hey Dean, how's the case?" He heard his brother ask. 

"The case is all wrapped up. I think...I think we're going to be a couple more hours though." Dean said hesitantly. 

"I thought you just said the case was done?" Sam questioned. Dean took a deep breath. 

"You know that thing that you told me was there but I said I just wanted to forget about?" There was a long silence before Sam just said, 

"Yeah, what about it?".

"I think I'm gunna go for it." He said softly. More silence. 

"I love you no matter what Dean. I'm rooting for you." Dean looked at his hands feeling more nervous than he'd ever been. 

"Thanks Sammy." And he hung up the phone.