I'll never love again - Breaky/Dealor ✔️

Chapter 31

June 1974
(8 months) pregnant

John's POV

Roger visited me every day. But it was all the same ... We spend some time together, fucked and he just run away every time leaving me heartbroken. It will be the same when the babies will be born? I don't want that. I don't want to be friends with benefits. I don't know how he's imaging it. I was lying on my side, used tissues around my head like a halo. I was holding my stomach tightly and crying softly. I tensed when I heard knocking on the door.

"Who is it?"
"It's me, Rog" he opened the door and went inside "I bought your favourite chocolate ..." he smiled.
"Umm thanks ..." I said looking at the window.
"Are you alright? I can see you have been crying? Is it just hormones or something else?"
I shakily took a breath and sit on the bed.
"What are we Roger?"
"What do you mean, we're together right?"
"No! We're not! You didn't even ask me to be your partner ... You're coming everyday just to have sex with me, and then you leave me alone again! I don't want some friends with benefits Rog ... I'm eight months pregnant if you don't want a serious relationship we're over ... I need to focus on babies and on me. I can't receive so much stress, it's not good for them. You said you take care of us, treat them as they were yours. I don't see that Rog! I'm not your fuck buddy, grow the hell up! I'm just so tired of this. If you want to be with me ... Y-you can't going back and forth between here and your flat. You need to move in. I know it's a big step, but I need being stable alright?! I can't be the mess right now ..." I cried in my hands.

"Sunshine I'm sorry, I didn't know you feel that way. I'll fix everything. I promise we will be talking more about our feelings, we will be honest with each other. It's just weird living here with your ex parents ..."
"It will be just a few months. They bought me a house not far away from here, it's being renovated now, and it will take some time. They're inviting you on Sunday's dinner, hey don't frown! If you're taking this seriously you will come. And there's another thing we need to discuss, and we can't be together if you won't accept that we can't be together ..." I took a shaky breath.
"Shhh it's okay, take your time John ..." He kissed my forehead and hugged me. I was playing with his hair, resting my face in the crook of his neck. I inhaled his scent and breathed slowly. It took me some time to calm down.
"Okay?" I simply nodded answering his question.

I took a deep breath and looked at my lap.
"As you know I was born intersexual, I have both male and female private parts ... And I was thinking about this for years ... I want to be 100% woman, because I feel woman, I am ... That's why I didn't want you to touch it, call me baby girl not boy ... M-my name is Joanne now a-and my pronouns are she/her. I know it might be hard, but it's even h-harder for me. If you want to leave I understand but do it now ..." I was out of breath when I finished.
He looked at me for a while and smiled.
"Nice to meet you Joanne, I'm Roger. Would you like to go on a date with me?"
"I would love to ..." I giggled wiping away my tears.

I hugged him tightly and took a deep breath.
"T-thank you, I was afraid that you will hate me and leave ..." I kissed him softly.
"It doesn't matter to me if you want to be John or Joanne. I would love to have a beautiful girlfriend like you ..." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pecked my lips.
"Are you asking me ...?" I smiled holding his face with both in my hands.
"Yeah, d-do you want to ...?"
"Kiss me you fool" I whispered and moaned when he took the action.

Roger's POV

"Well that was fun ..." I chuckled and pecked her lips a few times.
I cleaned us a little with a wash cloth and I prepared us a bath. I help her to get in, and I sat behind him.
"I love you" I mumbled kissing her shoulder.
"I love you too, more than you can imagine ..." She said quietly putting my hand in hers "I'm so happy we got back together. Just me, you and the twins ... Our own little family ..." She smiled kissing my knuckles.
I sniffled a little and kissed her sweetly.