I'll never love again - Breaky/Dealor ✔️

Chapter 1

Hey bitcheez!
Like I promised you, "I'll never love again" will be a book.  I'm trying my best but last couple of weeks was really hard for me. I had two pannic attacks. And I'm sick for a couple of days but it's so much better now.

I wanna thank JoeMazzello_luvr76 for so much love and support. Hun I don't know what I did to deserve you. Love you to the moon and back. ❤

Let me know in the comments how was the first chapter!
1213 words. 

John's POV

It was a very rainy day and we all four were in the studio trying to record something for our new album. We were there from the 7 am, so 12 hours already passed and I was really tired. But Freddie barely let us doing some breaks during the day. Everything must to be perfect and sometimes we repeated one thing so many times I didn't even remember what I was doing. I looked at Bri, he was sitting on the sofa and drinking coffee, I think it was his fifth today, poor bloke.His curls were so messy and there was slightly stubble on his face. He was so handsome even with this dark circles under his eyes and creased clothes. I bit my lip looking at him and in this moment his gaze met mine. He smiled happily, I blushed and quickly looked away. I returned to tunning my bass. I was still very shy around him because I had a crush on him, pretty big one if you want to know.

"Ugh, Freddie I'm so tired. Everyone is so fucking tired can we just go home?" Rog begged for the 100th time today.
"Okay, okay" Freddie sighed "Tommorow will be a day off lovies"
"Oh nice I'll finaly get some sleep" I said and chuckled lightly.

Rog and Freddie already left to the bar, I was packing my things.
"Here let me help you Deaks" Brian said and took my backpack.
"Um I can manage"
"It's to heavy for you, you so fragile" He said biting his lip.
I blushed and just shrugged my shoulders.
"You want to ride home with me? Cause I know you're car is in repair. Or maybe you have some other plans." He said.
"No. I can ride with you. I'm so tired that I'm just gonna eat something, shower and go to bed ..." I sighed.

We went to his car and I fastened the seat belt. The ride home was very awkward. We didn't talked to much just a couple of words. I frozened when I accidentally touched his hand. Oh my god. I tried my best not to blush but of course I've failed. He seemed to ignore it but I saw him tensing his muscles and blushing. I bit my lip and smiled softly.

We arrived to our flat that we're all four were renting. It was pretty big, everyone had his room, there were two bathrooms (I shared mine with Roger) and specious kitchen and living room.
"I gonna order some pizza you want some? I asked Brian filling kettle with water.
"Um yea just this large vegetarian pizza. I'm just gonna shower " he said and headed to the his and Freddie's bathroom.
I smiled to him and went to the living room to make a call.
"Um hello, I just want to order two large pizzas. Yes,margherita and vegetarian. Uhm, yes thank you. Buh-bye.

I went to take a shower. I turn on the hot water and sighed when it hit my back. I was really tired and my depression cured through last couple of weeks. Sometimes I just was lying in bed all day.  Lying, crying and writing in my diary which I always hide under my bed.  I don't a friend which I can tell everything. I don't to bother anyone with my problems. Nobody knows about my depression and anxiety, except my family of course.

I brushed my wet hair and looked in the mirror. I looked really bad, I was super pale and I had dark circles under my eyes. I didn't looked healthy anymore. I bit my lip and sighed loudly, tears flooded to my eyes but I wiped them away. I took my meds and put on some jogers and t-shirt.  I rushed down the stairs and went to the living room.

"Hey the pizza deliver guy was like 15 minutes ago so I paid him" Brian said .
I blushed really hard.
"I'm so sorry Brian, I was really tired and I needed a longer shower. I'll return you the money I swear ... " I said ashamed.
"Hey,hey Deaks it's okay ... He said and put his arms on my shoulders"You'regonna pay the next time,  it's okay. I know that you're stressed out lately.  You need to relax Deaky ..." he said caresing my cheek and I was frozen.
He returned to eating his pizza like nothing happened. I touched my cheek and smiled softly. I sat on the sofa and took a slice of my pizza.

Brian opened two beers and give one to me.
"Um, thank you but I don't drink ..." I mumbled quietly.
"Oh, come on Deaks, relax a little bit,  you deserve it, you're working so hard" He said and looked me in the eyes.
"I can't I take meds and I can't drink" I replied.
"What meds Deaks?" he frowned.
"It doesn't matter ..."
"What meds Deaks, I'm just worried about you. You look so fragile and sometimes you don't even get up from bed,  you lost so much weight I'm just worried ..."he said holding my arm.
"I said it doesn't matter! What the fuck you didn't understand Brian!" I exploaded.  I got up from the sofa and started to run upstairs to my room. To hide, to be safe, to be alone. But I could feel a pair of arms on my waist. Brian grabbed me and started to hugging me tight.

"Let me go! Fucking let me go!" I screamed trying to hit him.
"Why don't you see I just care about you? I just want what's the best for you. You can trust me, talk to me ... I'm here for you John" he said with pain in his eyes.
I hurted him.  I hurted the person I cared about the most. I started to sob into his shoulder. He hugged me even tighter and caresed my hair.
"It's okay, let it all out Deaks ..." he said into my ear.
I cried for the several minutes. We were sitting on the stairs all the time. I calmed down and he wiped away my tears.

"I wouldn't make you to tell me everything,  but if you want to I'm here for you  ..."
I smiled softly when his hand was holding my cheek. I bit my lip and noded my head.
"Can we just cuddle and watch a movie?" I asked with a raspy voice.
"Sure thing ..." he replied and pick up me the bridal style.
I squeaked quietly and started to laugh.
"What the hell Bri ..." I said when he dropped me on the sofa.
He just shrugged his arms and chuckled lightly.
We finished the pizza and turn on some horror movie.
We was lying on the sofa I was resisting my back on his torso.  He was playing with my hair. It was so relaxing I falled asleep very quickly.

Freddie's POV

It was 3 am and me and Rog were coming back home from a party.  We were so shitfaced we could barely stand on our feet. We opened the door and went to the living room.
"Oh my god, look at this lovebirds ..." I coed laughing when I saw Brian and John both asleep and cuddling each other on the couch.