"Are you ready for this?"
That's what I asked myself. My hands were shaking violently. I could feel the bottom half of my body shaking as well. It wasn't the good kind of shaking. It was the result of nervousness, of the what-ifs that filled my head everytime. I closed my eyes, trying to brace the impact of being benighted by the cloud of anxiety that I've been fighting since this morning. No, scratch that, since the very beginning.
I had this sickening urge in my stomach to run away, to forget even considering this. Why did I even think of this? It would've been easier to just let this cycle happen to me. It would've been easier to just escape into dreamland and sleep everything through. It would've been easier not doing anything about it.
But here I was, taking the first step, going out of my way of just sleeping everything through to make a change, to finally end the cycle.
I breathed before pushing the glass door of the counseling room with the cold air greeting me and the smile of the counselor comforting my shaky being, as if telling me that everything's going to be alright, it may not be now, but soon enough.
