I don't know what I've done.
Why I'm here.
Who put me here.
I also have the same questions. I also have so many confused thoughts about this sudden nonsense experience of being in this some sort of empty room. Nearly empty, to be fair, since I'm still in here.
I don't know why.
I woke up 10 minutes ago, looking absolutely confused and scared about my current position. I was, and still am, just surrounded by four white walls and tiled floor. No doors, I noticed. That's what made me panic to be honest. It seemed as if whoever being put me inside of this nothingness never wanted me to leave again.
The question is who put me here?
I stand up. There's nothing for me to look around. I walk towards the first wall in front of me. Using my hands, I glide my fingers on it, trying to feel if maybe there's a door hidden within the façade of the white paint. I move to the wall on the left and do the same until I've already made my rounds back to the wall in front of me, although it's so hard to distinguish which was that wall now.
No doors then.
Thinking maybe there's somewhere above me, I look up. There's only white. I wonder how I can reach the ceiling. Maybe there's an escape.
I stop my train of thoughts for a moment. I want to laugh at the last word of my thoughts. An escape? Really?
Where even am I? Is this place even escapable?
"Hey."
A voice suddenly resurfaces in this empty room. I start to feel uneasy and a bit of relieved. I know I'm the only person here. Hearing someone speak and knowing someone's here may get me back my sanity. I look behind me.
There's no one.
I look to the other side.
There's no one.
I look to the opposite side.
There's no one.
I'm alone. Completely and terrifyingly alone.
Opening my mouth, I try to call out the voice back but not a single word comes out. My eyes widen up realizing it and I start to lose my sense of touch all of a sudden. It makes me feel weak and panicky. I want to cry but no tears are flowing out of my eyes. I want to scream but only a deafening silence can only be heard.
What is happening?
With all the strength I have, I make an effort to make myself feel something again but to no avail. I fall back. I start muttering a lot of prayers, pleas, and incantations. Whichever that may of help.
This is madness.
I start hearing more and more voices. Nobody's even here. I can't even distinguish to whom those voices belong to anymore.
"It's your fault you're here at the first place!"
"You're never going to escape."
"You'll never leave this place."
"You'll stay here forever."
"And ever."
"And ever."
I want to pull my hair so bad. I want to cover my ears until they go away. I want to close my eyes and sleep until this nightmare, or whatever this is, is over. This is like a punishment for something I don't know what for.
What did I do?
I start to fight back. Laughter can be heard in the background. This is sick and twisted and I want nothing of it. I want to be free from this. I want to get out of this and never come back.
Suddenly, I can close my eyes yet I still do not have my senses back. The first image I see upon closing my eyes is myself, staring at my seated reflection of some ancient mirror. A noose is hugging my neck. Cuts start forming on my arms. Tears unknowingly falling on my face. Pill bottles everywhere. Broken pieces of beer bottles beside me. Crumpled papers fill the room.
I can't do anything but stare. It doesn't hurt anyway. However, I feel pity forming inside me. It's my fault, isn't it? Just like what the voices told me earlier.
It's my fault. The voices keep telling me. Over and over, like a broken record.
Make it stop. Please. I beg for the voices. I can only feel my heart beating fast. It feels as if it's about to explode.
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
And then, the deafening silence creeps back in again. The image of myself is still on that cursed mirror. However, it's now showing a pained smile towards me.
"Make this stop," the reflection manages to say. "We can't take it anymore."
Not long after, I open up my eyes again.
I don't know what I've done.
Why I'm here.
Who put me here.
I also have the same questions. I also have so many confused thoughts about this sudden nonsense experience of being in this some sort of empty room. Nearly empty, to be fair, since I'm still in here.
I don't know why.
But I know, I'll never get out of this again.
