Instincts: A Roven Story

Chapter 18: At last

Robin and I had a talk last night. We were in the common room, resting by the window. I say we had a talk, but really he's the only one who spoke. Every little detail he revealed to me. How he had been orphaned, how Bruce had adopted him, how he had first become Robin. He explained to me how in the beginning Bruce instructed him to stay away from me. He told him I was a master manipulator, how I couldn't feel anything myself but I enjoyed causing others pain. I couldn't look at him while he spoke. If his eyes could see mine they would've seen into my very soul, and known that this was true when we first met. Robin saved me from everything I once was. I once was a monster, a demon, the end of the world. That's all over now. I quit listening to Robin after awhile. I allowed myself to sleep against his chest while he played with my hair. I stayed like this until I heard him say
And that's how I first knew I loved you..
I jolted up at these words and Robin began to laugh.
"Weren't listening now we're you Raven?" He joked with a boyish grin.
I hid my face so as to keep him from seeing my flushed cheeks, and he pulled me back against him.
"If I tell it again, will you listen?" He asked me.
I smiled sheepishly up at him.
"I never believed in love. All I had ever known was pain. And then I saw you..." He told the story over again. My first day on earth. Starfires first day on earth. I was the embodiment of evil, and she still is the embodiment of good, yet that day it seems we had switched places. She wreaked destruction across Jump City, terrorizing all who got in her path, and I was the one who stopped her... Through peaceful means. Robin said how mesmerized he was by my abilities, and how I didn't use them for chaos but only wanted peace. He spoke of how I was his opposite, someone who could control themselves and never let their emotions dictate their actions. The more he got to know me, the more he realized how alike we were. Hatred ran through our veins but instead of causing destruction, we did our best to keep others from feeling our pain.
I thought I loved you when I first saw you.
I thought I loved you when we first spoke.
I thought I loved you when you first opened up to me.
I thought I loved you when I saved your life.
I thought I loved you when we first kissed.
I thought I loved you every time you disappeared.
I thought I loved you every second I have known you.
And I have, but not as much as I do right now.
And tomorrow I will love you even more.
The words stuck in my head. And I'm not sure they'll ever leave.

*common room*
"What is she doing here?!" I heard cyborg thunder.
As I rushed into the room I stumbled, crashing to the ground and pulling a vase down with me. I jumped up quickly ready to face Starfire's wrath. Only... It wasn't Starfire who was standing there. It was Terra.
"You haven't changed at all, now have you Wonder Boy?" She asked with a smile.
"It's Boy Wonder." Raven answered for me, glaring at Terra. Then they both began to laugh.
"What's going on?" I stood up confused as Terra gave Raven a hug.
"Turns out Rae was keeping another secret. Never ends with you does it?" Cyborg had steam coming out his ears.
"Yes. I didn't tell anyone about BeastBoy seeing Terra again. I apologize for being a good friend." Raven rolled her eyes.
"She could've hurt him! She worked for Slade! You remember what Slade did to you! You can never forget Raven. We all hear your screams at night. And yet you allow this?!" Cyborgs stress level was rising. The blue of his robotics parts was turning blood red.
"Then it's best he didn't keep this from me isn't it?" Raven asked with a calm smile.
That line confused each of us. You could see the idea of Raven being enraged by Terra's return just occurred to both BeastBoy and her. Now none of us could figure out how Raven is so calm.
"I did worse than she ever did. She was Slade's assistant. Slade was my father's. I was my father. And yet you gave me another chance. If she had stepped out of line once I would have carried her to hell myself. But she didn't. She's not who you think. Sometimes people do things with reasons you'll never comprehend. Who you are is not what you've done. She's still an innocent." Ravens words were genuine. You could tell they came straight from the heart.
I wanted to tell her her situation was different. That she had no choice, Terra did. But I didn't know that. I didn't know why Terra helped Slade. I don't know anything about Terra. BeastBoy does, and he trusts her, so I should as well. I held out my hand.
"Welcome back Terra. I pray this time we can be true friends."
She smiled at me.
"Id like that Robin... Cyborg?..." She asked quietly.
He nodded gruffly.
"Well then. Don't get out of line or Raven will take you to hell."
After a second he smiled and pulled her into a brotherly hug, giving her a noogie.
"Welcome back kid." Affection overtook his disapproving tone.

*in front of the big window*
"Robin?" I said quietly so as to not wake the others.
He didn't acknowledge me.
"Robin..." I said I bit louder placing my hand on his shoulder.
He slid his arm around my waist.
"What's wrong?" I questioned him, not sure I wanted an answer.
"Where do you think she is?" He asked me.
"I don't know... She might be back on Tamaran."
He nodded.
"I messed up Raven."
I pulled back from him, not wanting to hear anymore.
"Hey no. That's not what I'm saying. You aren't my mistake. She was... In so many ways."
I looked up at him, searching for the clue to unlocking his thoughts.
"Cyborg was right about me being a creepy adolescent. I had a boyish crush on Star, because she's pretty an sweet. I never really wanted anything more than in her pants... I hurt you both because of my stupidity. By the grace of God, you have forgiven me. But I've lost her... She was one of my best friends... I didn't want to be her boyfriend anymore, but I wanted to be her friend.. And yet it's almost as if I blamed her for my screwing things up with you." He whispered softly while resting his head on my shoulder.
"She'll come back Robin. Once she's no longer sad, she'll be angry. She'll come back to kick your ass. Then she'll forgive you. It will go just like it did with BlackFire." I tried to comfort him.
"Thanks Rave...
Though I hope I don't get arrested like BlackFire." He laughed.

A N //: Hi guys! It's Li. I wanted to apologize for the long waiting period and the poor quality of these past chapters. I have a difficult time writing lovey dovey pieces and I just couldn't get it to come out the way I wanted it. Suggestions, feedback, and advice especially would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for those of you that are still reading. The next chapter isn't all cheesy and romantic so it should be up sooner.
Merry Christmas!
~Li