Get Up Again

-seven-

It has been about a week since we confined ourselves in this room, that really is an apartment. It was stocked with food and candy, the rooms were decent and there was even a small library. I spent most of my time in the library.

I like reading. It keeps me away from reality. And a lot of the time reality is scary. 

I was trying to find a lollipop in the pantry when Taif called me to what we called "the meeting room". I wondered what I did to earn his wrath, or what I did to earn his affection, or if he was just bored and loaded and needed someone to dump his grief on. 

I didn't blame him. 

He just lost his son and his mother. At the same time. 

I felt grief, but because I was distracting myself, I never let myself let it out, and cry. I was so tired of crying. I couldn't pray(I was on my period), and I couldn't touch the Quran, and I was too scared to touch my phone. 

All I had was Allah, but I couldn't connect to Him the way I wanted to. And I know that Allah was testing me. I knew that all too well. And I was getting so upset about everything. But I didn't waver. I couldn't. Because honestly, all we had left was Allah. 

So I prayed to Allah that nothing was wrong and walked to my brother, who was smiling at Laila and Hiro. 

He was smiling like a fool at Hiro. 

"Ki?" I asked, and put my hands on my hips. The word Ki means what in Bengali. "What did I do? Am I in trouble?"

"No. What, no!" He looked at me, wide-eyed. And then his face changed and he grinned. "Well, you've been spending too much time in the library, and Wallahi it's getting very annoying that every time I pass that room your nose is stuck in a book, but no, I'm not mad at you." 

"Then what happened?" I looked at Laila, who was looking at me and pointing at Hiro. I turned my head to his direction to see him clutching a Quran to his chest and smiling at me. 

"I accepted Islam Kayandi." My hands immediately moved to my mouth, trying to stifle a gasp, but it didn't work. "Like two seconds before he called you here, I accepted Islam." 

I felt like I was about to squeal. "Oh my Allah." I didn't know how to control myself. "You accepted Islam!!!!" I put my hands down and started thinking about this. 

"I started to research Islam, and your brother helped me." I held my walker because I thought that I was about to fall flat on my face. A mix of happiness and gratefulness made me feel so heavy, yet so light. It was the best feeling ever. "And every single part of it makes sense to me. No other religion does. I understand why you fought your father to follow Islam, and why you don't give it up." He gave me a knowing smile, and I felt myself smile back. Haram. Remember that Neya, don't smile at him, because it could lead to haram. "So I decided to become a Muslim, to feel the way you guys and millions of other Muslims feel. Peace and so much love from Allah."

"I'm so happy for you." I whispered. The happiness in his eyes glittered at me. "Believe me, I am so so so happy for you. You found the truth." 

"Honestly, I found the truth a long time ago." He laughed and got up from his seat and gestured at it. I went and sat down. Hiro took steps backwards until he hit the coffee table and sat down on it. "But after I finally met you and your brother, it was much more clearer than before. You guys are the best living human beings I ever met." I felt my cheeks flare. "You are always trying to be the best human beings you can be, regardless of what other people think. You're always aiming for something bigger, something that I as a Non-Muslim couldn't see. But now I see it. It's Jannah." 

"You know, Neya knows a lot about Jannah and the rewards that people will get because of their good deeds." Laila said. "My mother taught her that stuff. And she probably can teach you about modesty, since she's the most modest out of all of us." 

"Oh yeah, she rocks at those two things." Taif agreed. "But I have to be here with her whenever she gives you lessons." 

"Yeah I know. She's not my mahram," He shrugged. "I'm pretty sure she's going to make the lessons boring anyway. I need you to make it more entraining." 

"She's fun, not that boring." Taif and hire shared a look before Taif looked at me. "She's just a little too sarcastic for most people's taste. You just need to get to know her more."

"Yeah I'm boring." I said, aiming my sarcasm at my brother when I said. "Remind me of how many times you fell down laughing because I was so boring." 

Everyone started to laugh. We all forgot about the blood, the pain. We were just living in the moment. And at that moment-

That was all that mattered. Being happy. Having fun. Forgetting.

It was how we healed. 

And it made us stick together for the rest of our lives.