Get Up Again

-nineteen-

Me and Hiro ran to Laila, Taif and Taher. I hugged Laila with all my might, and she hugged me back with the same amount of love and force.

They were okay. All of them were alive, well, and in one piece. Honestly, I was so happy that I though that I would burst into a thousand pieces and piece myself back together again. 

How Allah makes things ends is always surprising and beautiful. And that was partly why I love Him so much. 

The school, even though the building had been blown up, was still standing. The students and staff, for the most part, were alive. 

It was a good thing to hear. They were currently building a memorial for the people that we lost. The Satanist gang, for the most part, are in prison, many of which are facing life sentences. 

But they still didn't get Baba yet. He wasn't there when we went to open the door for the police. 

It was Taher, who learned how to walk. He was stomping around the living room like he was a boss, and after seeing him, in real life, knowing that he was alive and well, made me cry. 

Allah always surprises you in the best ways. It is so worth all the waiting and the pain. 

I was talking to Laila, while watching Taif and Hiro help with the memorial, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around, and saw the last person that I ever expected to see. 

My father was there, hands stuffed into his sweats pockets, looking freshly polished and clean. He gave me a sheepish smile. 

"Baba?" I asked, confused. "What happened?"

"Nothing I just came here to check on you and your brother." I blinked and then he said, "And no, I do not have a gun with me."

"You better not." Laila said, and she pulled Taher closer to her. "What do you want?"

"Nothing I just want to talk to Neya." He said. When Laila was about to protest, I gave her a look that told her to stop. I looked at my dad, eye to eye, for the what felt like the first time in years, and I said, "Tell me."

He grabbed my walker and lightly pulled me to the side. I realized how short I was, I was up to his chest. 

Then I realized that Hiro was about his height too. 

So strange. I thought, looking uncomfortably at the man that killed my mom, that stopped me from practicing Islam, that kicked me out of the house because I asked to go to school, that gave me scars before doing so. Everything these days seems so strange. 

"I just wanted to know if you were okay." He said in Bengali. "And if I could get your forgiveness." 

I gave him a long look. I thought about all that he did, not just to me, but to my mom, and my brother. To people that I don't know. He didn't really need my forgiveness, or anyone else's. 

He needed Allah's forgiveness. Because only Allah could give him a fresh start, a new page. I as a human being wouldn't be able to give that to him.

But Allah the Most Powerful can.

"Baba." I said. "You shouldn't be asking for my forgiveness." His face fell. I gulped and then continued. "I, or anyone else that you hurt can not fully forgive you. But Allah can."

"I'm not sure that even Allah can forgive me." He answered. I knew that that would be a very possible answer from him, so I just answered. "Allah can forgive anyone He wills."

He looked at me, and I looked back at him. I realized that we were both crying. 

Baba then said, "Are you sure?"

I just nodded. There were no words that could come out of my mouth. The only way I could really communicate was through my actions. 

We shared another look, and then he kissed my forehead and walked away. 

I never saw him ever again.

---

"HE TOUCHED YOU?!" Hiro put his hands on his head, trying to digest what I just told him. Taif and Laila gawked at me. I just nodded. 

"Kayandi!! Why didn't you punch him?!" Hiro put his hand on my shoulders, and shook me slightly. "Why didn't you give him attitude?!"

I shook my head. I felt the cold wind blow against my hijab and I said, "I don't know."

He was silent, and then hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him. 

"Don't ever let a weirdo touch ever again." He whispered, and I knew that he was using the word 'weirdo' to censor a bad word. 

"He's not a weirdo Hiro. He's my dad." I answered. He pulled back and looked at me. 

"Come on, I'm taking you inside." He said and started walking to the building that was now housing everyone who used to go to our school building. I followed him, and we walked to our room that we were given a few days ago. 

I kicked off my boots as soon as Hiro opened the door and ran to the bed. I collapsed into the mattress and started crying. 

I don't know why. All I knew was one thing.

I was relieved to know that Baba was about to find the truth.