Get Up Again

-twelve-

"What was that?" Laila asked. Taif and Hiro, who were the most educated about the Satanist gang, didn't say anything. 

"Oh for Allah's sake-" I asked. Hiro went stiff. 

"We need to get out of here." Taif said, and he started driving. The parking lot flashed before my eyes, and soon, we were out in the street and the people on the sidewalk were looking behind us. They looked shocked, and scared. 

I turned to look back and Hiro said, "Don't." But I couldn't listen to him, not at that moment. 

The school was on fire. And that's when it hit me, like a wave. 

They bombed the school. 

"Oh my Allah." Laila whispered, and then i realized she looked back too. 

Tears were choking me as I said, "That building's gonna collapse. The people there won't have time to get out."

"Kayandi-" 

"They're my classmates! They're my teachers!!! They're human!! I can't just let them die like that. Not at the hands of the people who are killing them for me." I couldn't tear my eyes away from the building as I was saying all of this. All of the memories that I made in that building, which was my home for the last 3 years, flashed before my eyes. "Allah knows that they didn't do anything that means that they have to die for something is related to me."

"Kayandi, please, listen to me-"

"Murder is a major sin!" I screamed. 

"Neya, killing yourself is also a major sin. And you will kill yourself in the Hellfire the way you do it here in this dunya, so I suggest that we run and let these people die." Taif was so calm. I didn't understand how someone could be so calm in such a situation. "They took most of the Muslims and killed them anyway. They're Satanists. They know that Islam is the truth. And they are trying to stop it from spreading." 

"They're coming after me." I said. "After me, after Hiro, after you and Laila. They took Taher, possibly even killed him, and now they are killing these people who are innocent-"

"Kayandi. Please. I promise when we get where we need to get to, I'll explain everything to you." His voice was like warm water to my cold and scared soul. Oh Allah, thank you for Hiro. He helps, even though he's very confusing and doesn't give me straightforward answers when I want them. "Please be patient." 

"We need to get out of the car, and get to the other side of the island." Taif said. "Me and Laila can go to the apartment complex near NYU and you and Neya are gonna go down three blocks and turn left. There's-"

"Dude, that is my house." Hiro said, and I could particularly see the eye roll my brother gave him. "Take a left." 

Taif moved out of traffic and turned left. "Go straight until you see a really cute, but shabby building. Stop there and I'll get us out." Hiro instructed. "You know, you could stay with us."

"I already have a place lined up for us. Plus, we can't stick together. Those kufr are trying to kill all four of us, and that will be easier if we are all together." My brother pulled up in front of a small cute house that in need of maintenance. That's his home. "Have fun sis."

"Wait, you're not getting out to at least help me in the house?" I stared at the five steps at the front, which lead to the door. "What type of brother are you?"

"The type who is going to let her husband do all the work." He answered. He looked at Hiro, who was unbuckling his seat belt and opening the door. "You have 5 minutes."

"On it." Hiro got out and ran to the back. Before I knew it, he was carrying me into the house, where he kept my walker. By this time, my older brother pulled away. 

I din't even get the chance to say salaams to him and my sister in law. 

"Get in Kayandi." I looked at Hiro as he helped me stand and gain my balance. "The building's about to go down."

"This one?" I asked, playing dumb. "Then where will we go?"

"Nice try." He gave me a small shove. Whenever he touches me, I can't think straight. I just want his hugs and his laughs and the way he talks about Islam like he talks about the most exciting moments of his life(which are very exciting). "Go. I'm coming."

I turned and went into the house. Toed my shoes off and kicked them into the mudroom's corner before walking to the living room. The shades were drawn, and I didn't open them. I knew that we could be captured, because this was a spot that Hiro's father could come and comb through. 

And I know that Prophet Muhammad(SAW) told us to tie our camel and have tawqal (reliance) on Allah. 

So that's what I did. 

I sat down and pushed my walker away. Oh Allah, I know that right now, there are probably a lot of people who are suffering more than me. I know that they are people dying out of hunger and are being tortured. But right now, I'm scared. Why are they trying to kill me because I am a practicing Muslimah? Are you testing me? If so, please help me to pass this test with iman and that this makes me stronger in faith and make my husband stronger in faith too. 

Just as Hiro walked in and closed the door, there was a huge boom, and screams. 

The school has gone down. The people who didn't run into the tunnels are dead. I realized that I don't have hope of finishing my education and getting into college. 

But then I realized. 

Islamic knowledge, as much as worldly knowledge was important, was I need. All that anyone needs. Because I wanted to go to Jannah. To the palaces, to the gardens, all of which is forever. 

That was the reason I was placed on this earth. And the whole reason that I am running away from everything, from my father and death, is that I will be able to fulfill this. To be able to do everything that we need to do to go to Jannah. 

"What are you thinking about Kayandi?" Hiro sat down next to me. I put my head on his shoulder and smiled. 

"I'm thinking about why we're doing this." I told him, and he put his arms around me. He makes life ten times better. I hope that we can go to Jannah together. I hope that I'm went him forever. "You know why we're doing this, right?"

"Yeah, duh. It's the entire reason that I accept Islam. Because we want to have a great hereafter." He looked unfazed. He looked strong, brave. 

He looked hopeful. 

And that was what gave me hope. Allah used him to give me hope. 

Everything was going to be alright. It was just a matter of time.