Get Up Again

-seventeen-

It started to snow the next day. Usually, I love the snow. I love the white fluffy stuff that falls from the sky. It is the purest visible thing that falls out of the sky, especially during the time of Christmas. 

Christmas is, and always have been, my least favorite time of year. It's a time of so much sin. Just watching people say Merry Christmas makes me sick. They have everything wrong. The date of brith of Jesus Christ, who we Muslims call Esa, the way they celebrate the holiday, Santa Claus. 

It all makes me sick to my stomach. 

So I was glaring at the snow when Hiro came into the room. He looked like he was about to laugh.

"What happened?" He asked, his laugh in his voice. I looked at him. 

"The snow is reminding me about Christmas."I answered. "It's pissing me off."

"You look funny whenever you're pissed." He said. I glared at him, and he laughed. 

"I wish you could stop trying to get me in a better mood." I told him, my voice unusually icy. "Right now is not the time."

"Whatever Kayandi." Hiro sat down on the floor next to me. "We need to move."

I looked at him. "What-"

"Today's Dad's birthday." He wrapped a arm around me. I then realized that his laughter was forced, as was his jolliness. "I know that birthdays are haram and all, but still, I'm telling you. And the reason is because he is going to come home. And if he sees us, he will kill both of us without hesitation. I'm don't want to add to your angry. I'm just trying to keep us safe."

That was a blow to my very steady angry.

"Ooof." I said. I looked at the snow falling outside. "Thank you for giving me an excuse for not being mad at the Christians."

"You're very welcome." He answered. "I am going to give you 5 minutes, and then we're going to run."

"Okay." I looked around for my scarf that I am was going to use for my hijab. He kissed my forehead and got up. 

Before he could get out though, we heard the front door jingle. 

"Oh my Allah." I whispered. I looked at my walker. Then I looked at Hiro. Fear was grabbing hold of me, and I had no idea how to respond. "Oh my Allah."

Hiro looked at me, and then at my walker. He then looked at the closet at the far corner of the room. 

I could immediately see where this was going. I grabbed my walker and my hijab(which was on the floor), and pulled myself up. 

We both herded towards the closet, and Hiro opened it without a sound. I squeezed my way through until we were both in the corner farthest away from the door, near a bunch of long coats. My walker was near the shoes on the other side. The only light came from the small sliver that came from under the closed door. 

"Come closer." Hiro whispered, and I did, until I was practically on top of him. He squeezed me so that I was very closer. 

"If anything happens," His breath was warm against my ear. "I want you to bolt."

"What will happen to you?" I asked. Oh Allah, please don't separate us. Please Allah. I don't know how I will survive. "Please don't tell me that I have to leave you."

"Neya." My hands moved to his. My heart was beating so fast, and I was sweating even though I was feeling cold. "If that's what Allah decrees, then that's what will happen."

I squeezed his hands and bit back a sob. But he was right. Anything that happens will happen because Allah decreed that, because he wrote that in his Qadr. And that means that that would be best thing for me. 

"I love you Hiro." I whispered. I wondered why I never said that to him before. 

He was silent for a moment. I was scared that I said the wrong thing, and I was about to apologize when he said, "I love you too Neya. I love you too."

I smiled. At least, I knew that he meant it. 

And I knew that he knew that I meant it too.