Get Up Again

-nine-

One month later, and I think I'm running on auto mood. Get up in the morning, pray Fajr salah, get ready, grab something to eat, run to classes, try to avoid my very crazy and rude classmates, go eat lunch with Taif and Hiro(Laila took up the head chef role), finish my homework, pray Zhuhr and Asr, read Quran, pray Isha, go to sleep, repeat. 

But today was different. Very very different. 

When I woke up, someone had left a brand new outfit for me, sitting on the edge of the bed. I was stunned. Who would buy me a new outfit? And why? 

I decided not to ask any questions. I pulled myself up and looked at the outfit. 

Navy blue leather jacket(one of the few colors of leather that I didn't have), a long white dress that glittered slightly in the light, and navy blue leggings. 

There was even a white scarf for my hijab. 

"Assalamulaikum Neya." I looked up at Taif, who was giving me a cheeky smile. "You good?" 

"Walakususalam Taif." I answered, and I looked at him, trying to understand what was going on. "I'm fine, Alhamduillah." 

"Today's your birthday." He said. "I know that we don't celebrate it, because it's haram and all, but today, you turned 18."

Suddenly, a memory flashed before my eyes. I was looking into a mirror, and I was crying. It was because Baba kept me out of school. Taif went to college that year. I was supposed to be in 8th grade. 

The only reason he kept me out was because I wanted to wear my hijab full time. I wanted to dress modestly. But Baba won't allow it. He said that I have to be like the people that I was surrounded by. 

Even though he knew that that wasn't the case. 

"What?!" I looked at him, bewildered. "What did you just say?! That means today is Candy Day!!! That means that today is November 4th!!!"

I officially snapped out of my auto mood. I was back to my self again, and deep down, I knew that I was waiting for this to happen. I was waiting for this to happen for a long time. 

"Yeah, well, you didn't order any huge candy box like you would usually do." Taif said, and he walked to my window and pulled the curtain open. "That's okay. We can order one today if you want." 

"Yeah, okay." I answered, and I grabbed my walker so that i could go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and do wudu so that I could pray Fajr. 

"Oh and also, today we don't have classes." A wave of relief washed over me. I can breath now. I can think. I can pray. I can spend more time with Allah. I can heal. I really need to heal. 

"That's great." I smiled. I haven't smiled since we met Taif and Laila down in the tunnels. And wallah it felt good. 

"It's nice to see you smile." Taif said. "I'm happy that Allah helped you come back. I was scared that we won't get you back again." 

"Yeah I know." I smiled at him. "But I'm back. And I guess that's better than me being in a stance that makes me seem like I'm dead." 

Taif grinned and he walked out of the room. This made me smile. Thank you Allah. Thank you for helping me come back. Thank you for everything. 

---

During breakfast, Taif took me and Hiro to my favorite part of the school complex. Hiro was grinning, and for some reason, he was wearing a backpack. Even though we had no classes. 

Whatever. I told myself. Whatever. Learn to mind your business. Allah's not going to ask you about what others did on the Day of Judgment. He's going to ask you about your own deeds, and that will effect much more than what other people did around you. 

We sat down in the room with the most windows, which was on the fifth floor, next to the gymnasium, where Taif rocks it out with his students on the days that we have classes. I sat down on the plush bean bag that I dragged in there in 10th grade and looked out the big window. 

Manhattan looked back at me. The highlight of NYC. I wondered about all the sin that people committed in those streets, and knew that when people say that NYC was full of possibility, they weren't wrong. But it wasn't all good either. 

"Ok so, I wanted to ask you something Kayandi." I looked at Hiro. "I wanted to ask this for a long time. And your brother knows that too." 

I gave Taif a questioning look and then nodded my head. "Go ahead Shikadai." 

"I love when you call me that." I gawked at him, and my cheeks heated up. I suddenly felt like I was in a oven. 

"What's the question?" My voice wavered. Oh Allah, please give some self control around him. 

"Have you ever thought about being married?" He asked. The shock must of been clear on my face, because he laughed and added, "Not to me, to anyone." 

"Why this question Hiro?!" I asked. I was shaking, because I knew the answer like I knew my walker. Because it was yes and I only started imagining myself being married after I met him. And I knew that the only person that I would accept a marriage proposal from would be him. I don't know why Allah placed so much love in me for him. I just loved him, and I knew that I would always love him, whether he loved me back or not. 

"You'll see." He answered. There was the cutest smile on his face. "Now answer the question." 

"Yes." I couldn't believe I said that and didn't bolt out of the room. But I wasn't done. "Now tell me why you are asking me something so personally like this??" 

"Because I have a gift for you." He put his bagel down on a plate and pulled off his backpack. He pulled out a small box and a medium size one. Taif was watching us, and all you could hear for a moment was him chewing his food. 

"What is happening?" I asked. I wanted to grab my brother and shake him. I gave him a look. He simply smiled and ignored me. "Taif-"

"I want to marry you." My attention snapped back at Hiro. I can't breath. "And no, I'm not playing a joke on you." 

"I-" My entire body felt so different. Like all the emotions that I was feeling were trying to break free. It was one of the most amazing feelings in my life. I couldn't speak, but I didn't need to. 

"Your heart is just as beautiful as your face." My heart fluttered all the way up to my throat. "You're strong and sassy and very knowledgable, and you're dedicated to what you love." I think my throat sealed shut. "And yeah, I know that I will have to do a lot of things that I'm not used to doing. But I'm willing to do them." He was smiling at me. I was swooning, and I knew that if this were anyone else, I would have gone up to them and slapped them. "I want to protect you from all the bad in the world, and I want to be able to be the one that you will talk to the most. You don't have to say yes. I know what a jerk I am. But I want a wife that will be able to guide me in this world in a way that will please Allah. And the only girl that I can really see that in is you."

My throat unsealed. "Hiro, you only met 15 Muslim girls after you reverted. There's a bunch of girls out there." I gestured out the window. I knew that I was trying to stop him, even though my heart was saying YES. I knew that regardless of what I said now, it wouldn't stop what Allah had decreed for us. 

We were, literally, meant to be. 

"No other girl captured my heart like you Kayandi." He answered. "But as I told you, you don't have to-"

"Yes. Yes." That's the only world that would come out of my mouth. There were tears gathering at the edge of my eyes, and my heart was choking as I said. "Yes Hiro, yes."

Taif smirked and swallowed his bagel. "Allah Akbar!" 

Yeah, Taif. Duh Allah's the greatest. That's why today happened. That's why we are all here.