𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝟒 𝐔, dreamwastaken

seven

Dear Dream,

You're not as slick as you think you are. Or maybe you really just thought I'd never find out. It's cute, really. I can't believe you wrote a song about me, Clay. More so shocked that you even recorded and released a song for your millions of followers to hear regardless of its content.

Road trip is honestly a bop. I've listened to it quite a few times. It's weird to think my ex is making music, and it's like actually good (no offense). Even more weird to think about how it's about me. I mean driving twenty hours in an old van up the east coast? Couldn't be more obvious. I took that one semester of college up in Boston, Massachusetts because I had gotten that huge scholarship. It was so far away from Orlando, and you never took an airplane, simply driving the long hours to get here. No matter how many times I told you that it wasn't necessary to come visit me, you still did, several times in fact. You always drove up the East Coast in your mom's old van to see me.

I think there was a part of you that was afraid if you didn't visit, our long distance relationship wouldn't last. (Spoiler alert: it did last while I was away lol) The effort you put in was honestly so sweet and greatly appreciated. I'll literally never forget it. Not many boys, scratch that, people are willing to put that much effort and thought into something, especially not for someone else.

It was always so hard for me to convince you to sing properly for me. Often you would sing off key or in a funny voice instead of being serious about it. So when I did hear you actually sing, it was a rare treasure. I always thought you were a good singer so honestly it's great that you're sharing that with the world now. From what I've seen so far, people are responding really well to it, which is awesome. I know it must have been so nerve wracking to release it, unsure of how your fans would react to it. But hey, your hard work really paid off because people love it!

You releasing Road Trip confirms what I had been questioning in all these letters. I wanted to know if I ever still crossed your mind, even in the slightest way. Whether it was due to you seeing me on social media, remembering old plans we had, seeing something that reminded you of me, running into one of our mutuals, or just reflecting on old memories of us that randomly hit you with nostalgia. This song reveals that I haven't fully left your mind. A part of you still holds onto me and thinks about me. If you didn't, you wouldn't have written this song. I don't know what to take away from this information now, but I guess I'm glad that this isn't a one sided thing. That you still think about me like I think about you sometimes.

We did the same thing, essentially. You wrote and released a song about me that you thought I'd never see or hear. Then I'm writing these letters thinking you'll never see them either. We pretty much cope in the same way with our thoughts and feelings— writing them down.

Instead of ending this letter in the way I usually do, I want to leave you with a good, honest message.

I'm really proud of you, Clay, and I hope you know that I always will be, no matter what future endeavors are in store for you. :)

Yours truly, Lila 🦋