Is it really worth it?

"Will you marry me?"

They didn't talk about what had happened in the park. They just went home and acted as nothing had happened. Maybe that was for the better. Carina only wanted what was best for her Girlfriend even if that meant no talking. Both of them also knew that it was time. Time for what neither of them wanted to do.

The next morning when Carina's eyes only started to flutter open Maya was already packing her large duffel bag. It was the Nike bag she brought on one of their first dates. They went hiking in the woods (even though Carina didn't like it at first.) It turned out to be a lot of fun for both of them. Still sleepy Carina stretched her arms and legs into the cold air of their bedroom and yawned loudly. This placed a sly smile on Maya's sad face. She was happy, but then again not happy knowing where she was about to go.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Do you need anything else? Do you have your toothbrush?" Maya heard Carina screaming from the living room. Probably as worried as she was. "Yes, honey. I have everything and if I don't I bet you could bring it by right?" Carina nodded and even though Maya couldn't see the nod they both knew she understood. Maya looked around the big bedroom taking in every little detail there was to take in. Soaking in the smell and all she loved about her home.

*It's okay Maya you'll be back before you know it. When you're back you can work normally again without the constant fear of collapsing. You'll finally marry the love of your life and things will get better. Right?*

The battles Maya was fighting in her mind with all the back and forth decisions were almost worse Then actually going. She couldn't decide if it was what she wanted or if it would even help her. But there was one thing motivating her. The ring that was placed in the bottom drawer in the big closet that was positioned in their bedroom. After she got out she knew that she would do it. For now, her courage was missing. "Bambina!" The ring of Carina's voice in her ear felt like home. "Yes, babe?" She said calmly not expecting it to sound as calm as it did. "We have to go now. If not we'll be late. You have everything right?" She ignored the question she must have answered three times already and looked at her home one last time. Before giving it a second thought she yanked the ring out of the drawer and stuffed it into her left jean jacket pocket. She had no time to question her move. By now there was no chance to put it back. The ring was resting comfortably in her pocket.

She wanted to propose of course she did but not as soon as this. She just got out of a coma and she was going to an ED treatment facility. She couldn't expect anyone to marry her in this state, could she? Her thoughts were solely focusing on the ring that she had completely forgotten Carina next to her. This is why she slightly flinched when Carina spoke again. "Oh, I didn't mean to scare you, Bella."  She looked concerned which immediately made Maya feel terrible. "No no, all good I was just lost in thought." Maya's words seemed to intrigue Carina and she signalized for Maya to tell her where her mind was lost. Maya didn't dare to tell her what was really going on so she just made up a believable excuse. It came off believable enough for Carina not to ask again. She let out a big breath, relieved she didn't have to elaborate on a stupid little lie. "The car is already standing outside. I'm ready when you are."

She wasn't ready not at all. The ring made her pocket heavy dropping it a little. But just enough to see that something was pulling the fabric down. She had no idea if she was going to propose. It was a stupid idea and she knew it but then again she didn't want to wait to marry the only person making her as joyous as she is. The person that makes her feel accepted and welcome with whatever was going on. She didn't want to wait any longer. She just wanted to marry her girl.

"Uhm, yeah I'm ready." She answered a little late. The decision to wing it seemed best for now so she was just going with it. "Okay then let's go Bambina." She said while making the way to the front door. She stood there smiling at Maya and at that instant Maya knew what she was going to do.

5 minutes later they were in the car. Maya was lost in thought letting the landscape slowly pass by her side. Making her eyes bounce back and forth. The fear grew with every pacing car and her heart rate rushed with excitement. She was really about to do this. Her leg started unconsciously shaking with a sentiment. Carina immediately noticed and placed one of her hands on Maya's knees making the shaking stop. Her other hand was still on the steering wheel, she was watching the road closely. She always was the safest driver. Maya was a little more reckless even more so if it was just the two of them rushing through the streets of Seattle. Maya eased into Carina's touch and her tightened muscles relaxed most slightly. "Bella, it's okay I'll be waiting for you and be there when you are back out." She only meant well and Maya knew that but at this moment it was not her ED making her thoughts spiral it was the thought of getting a no. Before snatching the ring out of its safe place she hadn't thought about the possibility of getting a no back.

*She loves you. She will say yes. She stayed with you while you were in a coma. Of course, she'll say yes. She will say yes. You have to do it. You have to ask. She will say yes.*

Maya's inner monolog continued and it started to transform into more of a mantra trying to keep her calm. The car stopped and Maya let out a small gasp not realizing the impact and worry it would arise in Carina. But she didn't react. "Do You want me to go ahead and check you in?" Maya didn't respond she just nodded intensely. So Carina obeyed. She opened the car door still glancing deep into Maya's eyes and making her feel the warmth she was trying to submit. The car door closed with a rumbling sound and Maya took a deep breath. She waited till Carina was out of sight and stepped gradually out of the car. She walked around making sure to be on the side not facing the clinic. And plucked the ring out of the jean jacket. The little black box was shaking from the trembling hands that held it.

*Breath Maya breath.*

She heard damp steps approaching and took one last breath. "Bambina? Did you try escaping?" Maya couldn't help but smile even in her spiraling breaths. She didn't answer and just waited for Carina to walk around their car. Once she did and noticed the small black box in Maya's hands. Her palm flew in front of her mouth and she gulped. Maya used that moment and got down on one knee still watching her surroundings closely. "Carina DeLuca will you be the love of my life forever and marry me?" Both of their eyes widened to a crazy extent. To make sure she was being clear enough she repeated. "Will you marry me?"

(Do you think she'll say yes? Let me know I would love to hear your assumptions. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!)