Is it really worth it?

"You always have to win, don't you?"

Maya's day sped by quickly. Something she wasn't used to anymore. She had felt so at peace just doing exactly what she was so used to doing at 19. No thoughts of worry or food crossed her mind. It was the biggest relief ever. She could fully concentrate on being back. And she was really good at her job, no one could miss that. Not even the chief that came by and examined her. Maya did however push herself when the chief was there. The habit of pleasing people by doing things right was a hard one to lose. She just loved being praised for her good work. Yes, she had tried to kill that habit at the clinic but it didn't seem to disappear. At least she didn't force herself to run and beat her own record every single time. She was trying at least. The chief was so happy with her and it was visible to everyone.

She complimented Maya and said what a great firefighter she was beside the fact that she hadn't worked since the clinic. It was like being fed the sweetest honey for Maya. She was a sucker for it. And Andy's annoyance grew with each compliment. Not getting her own. She didn't let it show too much though. Or she tried not to. Being back felt good, which Maya had not seen coming all the times she had thought about this exact day in the clinic. All the time worry filled her and not excitement. It was gone.

The shift was close to being over and Maya, but even after having a good shift, couldn't wait to go home and see her lovely finacée. She urged to see her and already thought about bringing flowers or maybe passing by Carina's work when she was off shift. She thought about seeing her and surprising her and how she could execute those thing. Maya just simply couldn't wait to see her. She never thought she would be one of those clingy people that are excited to go off work simply to see their partner, but here she was rushing out of the station's showers so she could catch Carina before work. She smiled for herself at the thought of loving someone as much as she did. And how that possibility never crossed her mind. She was the unlovable and untouchable Maya that didn't do monogamous relationships. But there she was very lovable and touchable in the best relationship that was going to last forever. "What are you smiling like a douche for?" Andy asked when Maya stepped out of the shower. Maya shook her head in response. Slightly embarrassed by her cutesy thoughts. "Is it that hot doctor girlfriend of yours? You always have that smile thinking about her." She was faced towards her locker so Maya couldn't see if she was mocking her or simply asking. And then she realized Andy had said 'girlfriend', she didn't know about the engagement yet. No one did. It happened in such a complicated time and Maya never really thought of sharing it with the world. Had Carina shared it with the doctors?

Maya was deep in thought about whether or whether not to tell the station about the engagement already.  The truth was she hadn't even spoken about it with Carina since she was back. The ring wasn't around her finger either. It lay in the cabinet next to her bed, she knew this exactly. But Maya never wore jewelry to work. She planned to wear the wedding ring once it was time, but other than that jewelry was not great at work. Maya pushed the station's doors open. Feeling the strain in her muscles after an entire shift and her body having lost the familiarity. She walked out of the doors avoiding any more contact with Andy or anyone else. Being numbered by the unsureness of her proposal. Maya knew she had to talk to Carina about it, she just hadn't chosen when.

The drive to the hospital was normal. She didn't get any hysterical calls from Andy about just having left nor did anyone else seem to bother her. Maya was about to exit the car with the two coffee cups in hand when she had an idea. A great one even. If it was so unsure why didn't she just make it sure?

Maya started the car again and started driving to get the things she needed. She ended up with chocolate-covered strawberries, Carina's favorite, roses, and a tiny black box she was fidgeting with. This was completely spontaneous but maybe that's what would make her idea great. Now the drive back to the hospital was slightly more nerve-wracking. She drove carefully and drove until she could see the hospital's large building. Her palms were starting to sweat and nervosity commenced to spread. Maya quickly made her way into the hospital rapid steps guiding her way. She walked through the large doors, her mind fixated on getting to the OBGYN wing. She ignored the doctors whom she might have known.

*breathe, Maya breathe. She'll say yes. She had the intention first right? Don't worry and just focus on the flowers. Breathe Maya*

Maya told herself plenty of things until she stood almost in front of Carina. She was hiding behind a trolley with some medical stuff on it. Carina already in her line of vision. Even though Maya was almost sure Carina would say yes uncertainty seemed to spread throughout Maya's body. She took a step onto the corridor and hurried towards Carina. She carried the flowers behind her back. The stems making it uncomfortable to hold but Maya didn't care. She walked quicker once people started to notice her. She didn't take the time to look around, she just grabbed Carina's hand, who had still been clueless to what was happening. She turned Carina. Both of them now smiling. Question marks written all over everyone's faces. "What are you doing Bambina? You know I'm working. I told you I'd be home late. And I-" Carina interrupted herself when she noticed Maya lowering herself onto one knee. The confusion in the room grew. Before anyone could ask yet another question, Maya handed the flowers to Carina and pulled out a small black box. The box had a little C engraved on it, exactly how Carina had always told Maya about her dream proposal. She did always want to get proposed to, which made it even better.

"Carina," Maya started "I know this is crazy, and I know technically this has already happened and I am already you're finacée but I also know that I haven't made things easy in our relationship this past year. I know it's not really my fault but I just need you to know that even with all the shit that happened that you were always the reason that I kept going. You always pushed me to be the best version of myself even if you weren't physically close to me. The time away made me realize how much I need you close to me and how strong my love for you is. And I wanted you to feel my love even if it is through yet another proposal. I love you Carina with every fiber in my body. I love you and I want to do just that until I take my last breath. So, Carina will you marry me?" Tears had formed in Maya's eyes and so had they in Carina's and probably in some of the onlookers. Maya looked up longing for a response. Carina noticed this and realized she hadn't responded. "Omg, yes, of course, Bambina, of course, I'll marry you!" Maya stood up and put the ring on Carina's finger. She didn't have much time though. Since Carina pulled Maya's collar towards her and kissed her lips softly. She whispered so that only Maya could hear, "You always have to win, don't you?" She smiled. "It's okay, I love you for it."
Both of them were so genuinely happy it shocked Maya to feel such happiness. She was just here, and happy.

(We can always use more proposal fluff, right? And Carina had to get her own... Hope you like the chapter, please as always tell me what you think...)