Is it really worth it?

"You don't like surprises do you?"

Maya's heart was still racing. The fact that she had no idea what was about to happen cost her all the nerves a person could have. She hated the unknown. Unknown calories, unknown number on the scale, unknown anything. Her chest started to rise and fall in a faster rhythm. But she forced herself to breathe. She most certainly did not want to have a panic attack in front of her new therapist. She tried tapping her fingers in a repeating rhythm or looking for things she might be able to touch. Anything to keep her mind from spinning its usual circles. "So," miss wright said. Maya's eyes flew up and looked in her therapist's direction. "Let me guess you don't like surprises, do you?" She had one of those sly smirks one has when you are sure to be 100% right. Maya hated those smiles if they weren't hers. "Well, I didn't mean to startle you miss Bishop. I'm just here to talk about our therapy plan and I thought breakfast was not your strong suit so I  allowed myself to interrupt you." Maya's shoulder relaxed. She didn't notice she had been holding tightly close to her neck. The shock had been for nothing which quite annoyed Maya. So much fear for this bullshit.

They talked for a while about what they were gonna do in therapy and Maya just listened silently, so it was more Mrs. Wright talking. Maya did not like her attitude or just her way of doing things but she was also too scared to ask for someone new. So she was there in the brown leather chair with Mrs. Wright staring at her every move.

While sitting in the chair trying to blend out Mrs. Wrights's voice memories started to find their way back into Maya's mind. She hadn't figured out August yet. Boy, she was confused but most surely didn't let it show. Her mind kept drifting off to all the things that had happened. She had been here for a little more than 24 hours and she hated it. The situation sucked.

"Maya, are you listening to me?" The words dragged Maya out of her thoughts and back into the leather chair in Mrs. Wright's office. "Did you hear your plan?" Of course, she did not but of course, she pretends she did.  So she just nodded and used up one of her famous fake smiles. She didn't know if it was actually good or believe but they seemed to work. "Okay, so I'll see you first thing tomorrow." Maya nodded and got out of the chair holding her down till now. Looking back she luckily saw the piece of paper with something that looked like a timetable and clenched it between her fingers tightly hoping Mrs. Wright wouldn't see the tension building up inside her gut.

Once she was out of the office and there seemed to be no people close by she took a look at the paper still secured in her hand. It was the stuff she had been expecting.

Monday:

8 am: joined Breakfast (stay seated till told to get up)

Free time

10:30 am: Meeting with Mrs. Wright.

Noon: Joined lunch. (Stay seated till told to get up)

1:30 pm: meeting with dietician

3 pm: group therapy

Free time

6 pm: Joined dinner (stay seated till told to get up)

Free time

10 pm: retire to room

10:30 pm: lights out

Basically, every day had the same rhythm and plan one should stick to. Everything was planned out. What annoyed Maya the most were the brackets saying she had to stay seated. As if they had to write it every single time. She knew that she was getting herself into something like this but in this instant, she was doubting that decision. Because today was her first day she had fewer things scheduled. Nothing until 3 pm. At 3 she had group therapy and already hated it. She questioned her every move leading up to this clinic. Until Carina came back flashing into her mind. She was doing this for them. Maya was sure of one thing. She did not want to lose the love of her life. Not, after all, they have been through. Not ever. Even if it meant going to stupid group therapy sessions with sentimental depressing people.