Is it really worth it?

"How could you?"

"Honey, I'm home," Maya screamed while hanging her jacket into the wardrobe. She didn't seem like she had just come home from a run but she hoped the expresso in her hand would distract Carina enough not to ask or actually realize. And knowing Carina she also brought a chocolate croissant for her, that was slowly melting under her grip. The kitchen was untouched which made Maya right in believing that Carina hadn't eaten nor had she lifted herself from bed. She walked into the bedroom Carina was laying on the bed simply staring into the abyss. Maya knew that feeling too well but she could never actually act on the urge to sleep, fighting with the other voices in her head telling her to finally get up and do something. Carina turned her head slightly to scan Maya or what Maya had in her hands.
"You actually stopped to get me a coffee." She said while forcing herself to smile. It seemed hard for her but she tried just for Maya. Maya sat down on the edge of the bed to give Carina the warm coffee in her hand. She wasn't fine. She usually complained about how big the cup was because espresso is to be drunken in a small cup. Today she stayed silent and just sipped the cup silently while staring into the nothingness. She didn't notice how Maya looked fresh and not sweaty from running, or that she had been gone for 2.5 hours and didn't seem exhausted in the slightest. Her mind was absent, busy processing all the events taking up her brain capacity. Well, the Event taking it up. Though now Maya could finally feel less helpless. She just had to tell her. Now was not the time. She'd do it later.

"Brooklyn 99 or the office?" Carina asked. "Obviously, Brooklyn 99," Maya answered. They started watching it together when they started dating. It gave comfort to them when it was hard to find any. They started watching and Maya's thoughts started drifting how would she tell Carina? Maybe she first needed to do the first steps. Then she could start worrying Carina about it.

The next day looked pretty much the same. Maya went on a 'walk' so that she could talk to the detective again. Today was less satisfying though. She was asked for specific details of the abuse, but her not being the victim, she couldn't give any. Maybe it was time to talk to Carina. She was still in bed like yesterday when Maya came home. And again she reached gratefully for the coffee in her fiancee's hand. Days started to blend together into one. They all looked the same. And until Maya got the courage to tell the brunette she went behind her back for help, they wouldn't stop looking like that. Carina had been excused from work, she had a ton of vacation days saved up. Maya found it beyond unfair that she had to use her vacation days for something she wasn't even close to being at fault about.

Throughout each day Carina would tell Maya how much she loved her, maybe she was afraid of having Maya leave her. Of course, that was impossible and not going to happen but reassurance was always good. And every time Maya repeated back the same words. She seemed not to be satisfied with the simple "I love you too." So Maya added on every time she responded. On the third round of Brooklyn 99, Carina turned to look at Maya and blurted out "Do you still want to get married?" Maya was stunned. She took a second to think about her wording. But then turned to look at her fiancee. "Carina, I'd marry you any day if I could. Hell, I'd marry you every day in a fucking dumpster if I had to. I would marry you even if the entire world was watching. I would marry you if it was my last day of life. So yes, very much so." Without having realized it tears had started forming in Maya's eyes. Carina's eyes were already filled. A lot of things sucked at any point in life. If it was Maya's eating disorder, Maya's coma, or this. They were always together. "Carina," Maya started. Her voice was low like she always spoke when she was nervous. It was a tell not many people knew. "Oh god, this is when something serious follows." Carina joked. But Maya didn't fight her in that. Something serious would follow. "Please, don't be mad." Carina stared back at Maya with concern written all over her face. "I contacted April's sister, she's a detective with the Seattle PD. And she specializes on sexual assault cases. That's also what April called for. And I know I shouldn't have but I went to see her. And I told her your story, she's ready to help. Free of charge. She'll do anything in her power to help. But if you are really against it I can call it off. I think it would be good. For both of us." Maya looked back into her fiancee's eyes. Frighted by her reaction. The brunette seemed to think, she took a few seconds longer than Maya was comfortable with. Carina lifted her hand from Maya's leg and took a step from the sofa. "For both of us, Maya? How could you?"

(Sorry this took so long againnnn. Thank you for still reading this story!! Are you still enjoying it? I hope you like the fluff and angst in this chapter. Do you think what Maya did was right?)