Jiley Oneshots

If you need me (pt. 1)

Season 4

Sensitive Subject ⚠

Riley's POV:

I sat in my office, clicking my pen on a continuous repeat. I didn't even realise until I looked down and saw the miniscule scribble on one of the form sheets, having been created as I hovered my pen above the paper. I sigh, grumbling under my breath as I moved the sheet away and dropped my pen on the desk in front of me, watching the blue shielding hit the wooden surface. 

My pupils perform a great eyeroll before ascending to the wall above where the clock was positioned. It was now four in the afternoon and I was supposed to be meeting Alfie in the lounge. I know Michelle told me to, but I can't right now. I haven't stopped thinking about James ever since he arrived here last night and I just can't seem to stop pondering over how quick he was to forgive me earlier this morning. How quick he was to say he loves me; to remind me of the people we used to be; the relationship we used to have.

My phone vibrates in front of me and a text message flashes across the screen. Both my lock and home screens were of James and I. His sisters were also in the photo. It was one we had taken at McDonald's when we took the girls out for the day and James and I were sat on one of the outdoor benches when we took the photo. Black sunglasses rested on my head over the top of my loose blond locks as I smiled, my hand resting under my chin and my elbow pressing against the table. James was smiling into the camera as well and the hand he wasn't holding his device with had been placed on my hip when he wormed his arm around the bottom of my back. Lola and Georgia were playing on the red climbing frames behind us and Piper had performed a back bend with a girl she had made friends with that day.

We still meeting up? the text read. It was from Alfie.

I ignore it and bite my lip, taking my phone into my hands and unlocking it with my fingerprint. I don't want to stand him up. I don't want to hurt him - that's the last thing I would ever want to do. But at the same time, I know I'd be hurting myself if I was to do what Michelle had told me to. I can't mess this up any more than I already have. Michelle's advice may be good, but that sort of concept is something that would have helped her during her Eldon and Hunter situation two years ago. This is my situation so I need to do things my way. It's not like I could commit any more severe damage, even if I tried. I did that when I kissed Alfie.

I reluctantly click on James's number after scrolling through my contacts. I still had the red heart and 'my world' emojis tagged along next to his name. I'd changed his name from being saved as 'Babe' to 'Jay' ever since Emily made fun of me because of it the first time he had rung me when I was over at hers and she saw. She found it completely amusing and started mocking me, bringing up the times I would despise James for calling me that name.

My most recent text message to him stated that we needed to talk. I sent him that text twenty minutes before I had called him last night, when he responded with a message that read a simple and plain: 'Okay'. That's when he showed up in my office. I hold back my fears and doubt as I begin to type out letters to form a text message. I didn't want to seem too-desperate, nor too-soft or harsh. I don't know where our relationship is at and I don't want to make assumptions where I act as if everything is fine between us when it clearly isn't.

Hey, where are you at the moment? I'm ready to talk to you. I need to.

I hope I wasn't coming across as eager and cross my fingers under the desk as three loading dots appear on the screen to tell me he was typing. My mouth was dry, my throat feeling clogged and used up. I'd cried so much lately that all my tears had come out like a series of waterfalls. Emily claims I'm dehydrating myself by not paying attention to the lack of water I'm consuming and even insisted on setting alarms on my phone. I got rid of them things the second the first one rang, making my head spin like mad.