It's Not All Roses

C-4

Beatrice

At first, I thought he died because literally, he stopped breathing and stared at me dead in the eyes. But then he inhaled. And then exhaled. He did it repeatedly for sometime, still looking me in the eye. His eyes are not sweet anymore. They burn when they look at me.

Burn with hate.

"Why won't you listen to me, Bee?" Bee. Chills ran down my spine as he called the nickname he gave me. Really, the rest of the sentence were inaudible to me. I wanted him to call me that again. I wanted him to keep calling me that. It was all wired. "We can try it again, can we not?"

Yes, we could. If I weren't a little stubborn bitch, we definitely could. If you weren't this attractive, we surely could. Above all, if my skin didn't heat up when you looked me in the eye, we would have been friends again a long while ago.

"I don't think we can ever be friends again," I kept my voice broad. He didn't need to know that I hated him too much that it's the only thing I ever think of and when I think about him, I burn. "We can begin a truce, though,"

"I don't want to begin a truce just so after sometime we go back ignoring each other." It was one thing that was wrong with him. It would take time for him to be comfortable around someone and when it happens, he gets attached too easily. In fact, more than he should. And then when that person leaves, he think of his Mom all the time. If he thinks that nobody saw him crying at the school garden, he is wrong. I did.

"Sounds like a YOU problem." I replied when I realized I didn't.

"You don't have any friends other than Emery, do you?" Does he realize how ridiculous that sounds?

I slapped on my thigh. "Looks like I am staring at the reason for that,"

"That's good. When you feel lonely, come to me. Even though I am not the one who spread that rumors, that motherfucker did a favor," He hissed, now smirking. Wasn't he dead like five minutes ago?

"Don't lie to me, Levi. I know you did."

He turned the ignition on and looked straight tat the road. His voice deep as he spoke. "I don't care what you believe anymore, Bee. I know what the truth is, that's enough."

Staring at his hand on the steering wheel, I forgot our past entire conversation. His long finger, perfectly trimmed nails. His vein popped out at the back of his hand. It's a wired kind attractiveness. I trace his veins, my eyes traveling to his arms, to his shoulders, to his face, his eyes glowing when the streetlight hits his face, his lips, soft and pink, his hair dark and messy, his cheekbones high, his jaw hard and perfect. My eyes now travelled down to his neck, his Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped his leftover milkshake.

I gulped down my own saliva.

His chest hard, rising and falling as he took breaths. He probably had abs and all. I haven't seen this man—that's right, he is a man; looked like one and behaved like one sometimes—shirtless. I never went and peeked at them when they practiced. It felt ridiculous. They never removed their shirts after Friday matches.

Levi was attractive in every way possible.

He always was. It's not like being with Marcus made me stop staring at Levi. He was beautiful and I am an artist. What else do you expect from me?

Marcus.

God, his name is ridiculous. I'm not sad he left me. I'm happy because people will finally get a rest from bitching about our relationship. Him dating me was mistake to everyone, considering the rumors Levi spread two years ago. I don't know, I was always a big topic to them. Whatever I did was cruel, I agree. I would do it again. It's not like them bitching about me would stop making me a bitch.