It's Not All Roses

C-17

Beatrice

4 years later.

My hair plays along with the cold wind that is going through it, my face warms up. I finally open my eyes and take in the exquisite city of New York.

"This is the hundredth time this week, Bea. I've told you to not come here. It's not safe. What if you trip and fall?" Felix' voice comes from behind me. I can already tell he's scowling.

I take a few deep breaths before turning around to see the familiar face of Felix who is my personal caretaker here. He is wearing dark red scrubs, his black rimmed glasses making his black eyes look smaller. His hair cut short and slick.

"Annyeong," I said, giving him one of my best smiles. Felix used to teach me his mother tongue whenever we were together which was twenty four-seven.

"Get your dumbass here. Now." He widened his little eyes at me, trying to scare me.

I got down the stair. "You're trying so hard, aren't you?" I giggled, jumping from the last step. He made his way to me, already having that stupid annoying face. I grasped all of my hair and twisted it into a bun and secured it with the hair tie that was always on my wrist.

"Learn to be thankful that I don't tell Dr. Kent anything," He rolled his at me, taking my hand in his and sliding it down to my wrist to check my pulse.

"Come on, it's normal. I'm not scared of heights," I groaned, annoyed and thankful that he cares more than he should.

"It's not about the height, Bea," He said, his thumb now rubbing against the back of my hand. "It's time for your medication. Let's go?" But he doesn't wait for my answer. He simply forced my hand, making my feet move automatically.

"I was literally going to come down anyway. Stop treating me like a kid," I rolled my eyes even though he can't see. He closed the door to the rooftop and turns around, giving my that Dad look of his.

"I don't look like I care, now do I?"

"Of course, not." I say because I know that's what he wants to hear. "I have a job interview later today. I was just trying to get my mind-"

He suddenly turns around and grasps my arms, his eyes laced with so much concern. His words going in a fast pace as he speaks. "Is it happening again? Bea, are you okay?"

"God, yes. I am. I was trying to say that I'm just trying to clear my mind off. It haven't been happening again since last month." I stated. There were times when I couldn't stop thinking about anything. And it was not something I could control so I used to go out to somehow try to shut my mind off completely.

It never worked so I took sleeping pills and slept it off.

"Where is the interview anyway?" He asks, leading me to my own room.

"It's a publishing company named Nobles. The owner is looking for an assistant. I got a call yesterday," I stated. Nobles is a new publishing company in Manhattan. The whole place is owned by three people for who I don't know the names off. But the one looking for an assistant was Mr. Fallon.

When we reached my bedroom, we bid goodbyes and Felix left, letting me get ready for the interview. I close the door to my room and lean against it, the hard frame pressed against my back. Closing my eyes, I sighed.

The only thing that changed over the years is just me.

I have changed. A lot more than I expected myself to.

In one way when I think about it, I did the right thing. But sometimes I feel stupid for choosing this decision. It's like waking up in the morning and choosing to sleep back for five minutes when we know we should get up anyway.