We're sitting in a bar that has just four tables. Its a little frequented place, ideal if you want to be alone for a while.
«We should come here more often» I say to break the unusual silence.
«Aurora, why did you react that way?» he asks aggressively.
«I explained it to you in the message.»
I have also already apologized. His expression doesn't suggest anything good.
«Forget the message. I don't understand what reason there was to do so, and it's not the first time.»
«It doesn't seem to me to have happened before» I say, struggling to understand.
«Not like that, but you seem to be very jealous and I'm not just talking about me. You're jealous of anyone, even of friends.»
He catches me totally unprepared. I had no idea he thought such a thing.
«Marco, what are you saying?»
«Aurora is not just me saying...» he stops, letting me understand that he was about to say something that he shouldn't have said.
«What does it mean?»
«Nothing. The fact is, you should be a little more relaxed.»
«Now tell me what they told you, and above all who. Otherwise I'll go and ask everyone directly» I say, starting to get agitated.
«Aurora stop it.»
«Look, I'm not joking. I start now. I'll send a message to Teresa right away, so let's see if she knows where this news comes from.»
I take my cell phone.
«Don't, really.»
«If you don't speak, I ask her. Or don't you want it to be known that you told me about it?»
«Yes, I want you to keep this between us. But that's not why I don't want you to write to her.»
He looks away and suddenly gets embarrassed. It can't be...
«She?» I ask hoping for a denial.
«Yup. But don't say I told you. She thinks you are a bit too much...»
«What? Sticky, naggy, overwhelming? What would I be in your opinion?»
«There you are, my friends.»
He hits me straight in the chest, with a simple point.
«In recent months you have also met other people, you have found who is more friend with you than he has ever been with me. Take Sonia, for example. You say you find her nice, yet you don't look for her, you rarely agree to go out with her. It seems you don't want to break away from me.»
«You come to my house, sit on my sofa, watch my TV. And now you tell me they're not my friends?»
«That's not what I said and you know it. I'm just saying that I think we should also have our spaces from time to time.»
That's why we're here, because he didn't want to meet anyone. Certainly, something happened last night, but I prefer not to ask for fear of what he might say.
However, I have to clear any doubt.
«Marco is all this talk happening because you're not sure about this relationship?»
«What are you talking about?» he asks, hinting at a strange laugh.
«Why have I never seen your house?»
«You've finally come to ask me. Aurora, perhaps it's better to end the discussion here.»
By now I have thrown the stone, it's useless to withdraw.
«I want to face it instead. If you're not sure you want to introduce me to your parents, why not tell me? I understand if you want more time.»
«Aurora, really. Let's change the subject.»
«You know we can't avoid it anymore, it's out now. Tell me why, then let's talk about what you want.»
«Because I'm eighteen Aurora, eighteen. And last night it was nice not to have to think about you.»
A tear falls before I can try to stop it.
«Thanks, Marco, now everything is clear. I'll try not to be so intrusive.»
«I barely slept when I got home last night. Maybe we should stop for a moment.»
He says it without feeling, without the slightest hint of regret. He just says it, as if he had been keeping it inside for longer and couldn't wait to spit it out.
«Why do you say so now?» I ask losing control over so many other tears.
«Because I need to understand some things. Please stop crying though. Let's get away from here, so we can be quieter for a moment.»
I nod without being able to say anything. I get up feeling that I'm abandoning a pleasant dream at that table.
-----------------
After a good speech made to keep me at bay, it's over. He left me.
I feel alone again, rejected.
The illusion of being able to belong to another reality was persuasive to the point of convincing me. Like everything else though, my relationship ended up out of the blue, with nothing I could do to avoid it. It always goes like this. What they show in the movies, in which there are various signs that warn of danger, is a lie that the directors tell to give a sense of security, of stability. The reality, however, is quite different, and while a few hours ago I was clinging to my dream, now my arms have been amputated. I've nothing left.
Aurora is back to being the girl no one wants, and I need to take note.
I hold tight the pillow filling it with my tears, fearing the night that is about to come, which I feel is the darkest of recent times.
YOU ARE READING
Aurora's Shadow
RomanceAurora, forced into an eating disorder clinic at 17 years old, decides to find a compromise not to remain under observation. Her choices will lead her along a path full of lies, pain, unspoken anger, and false joys until, at the age of twenty, Tyler...
