A loud commotion wakes me up. Still sleepy, I try to understand each sound, but I can't. Everyone seems to be running, as if there is a danger. I walk up to the door, open it and see five operators near Serena's room.
I run out, but Maria sees me and stops me.
«Aurora, go back in!»
«What's going on? How is Serena?»
«I told you to go back in!»
She takes me by the arm and when we turn to my room, I see two paramedics with stretchers.
«Maria tell me what's going on!» I yell starting to cry.
She hugs me and, this time, she asks me to follow her. Once in the room, she closes the door.
«Aurora, please, I have to go. Please, stay here, you wouldn't be of any help to Serena by coming there, you would only hinder the rescue work.»
She tries to stay calm but her face looks like a mask of pain.
«Is Serena dead?" I ask now certain of the worst.
«No. But she is very sick. I'll explain later. Please Aurora, don't move.»
«Maria, let me out, please» I plead, hopeful she will change her mind.
«Aurora, is enough! I should be with her and you're holding me here! Obey and don't leave this room!»
She goes out slamming the door.
Catastrophic thoughts occur to my consciousness. Gloomy and oppressive, they accuse me of not having seen what was clear and crystalline.
Serena spoke to me because she wanted me to notice her condition, and she greeted me wanting to give me one last help. She has always been available, she has always listened to all of us, and I have done nothing but repeating clichés. How did I get so numb?
I throw myself on the bed, pressing my face against the pillow to give it the pain, hoping I can get rid of it.
---------------
Three hours have passed. The few survivors of the weekend and I wander in the common room, with the television in the background to distract us from thoughts. No one has dined, in the face of such an event, everything takes a back seat. Three hours during which the accusing thoughts only increased.
Heavy and tired steps attract everyone's attention. Maria peeps into the room.
«Serena is stable, in all likelihood she will recover soon. Don't ask what happened because no one will tell you. Now, even if it's late, get ready for dinner.»
She goes to her office, but she is wrong if she thinks that I will be satisfied with these few words. I let a few minutes pass, not because of those present, I know very well that none of them have a connection with Serena, but to give Maria time to settle down. Then I knock on her door, opening it before she can give me permission.
«Aurora, I really have no intention of saying what happened.»
«I don't even know if I want to know to be honest. It isn't difficult to imagine and hearing you say it wouldn't help.»
«Then why are you here?»
«To find out if she's really okay.»
«For the moment she's stable.»
I sit in the chair in front of the desk.
«She talked to me a lot today. She told me what I think you already know.»
«I guess so. Serena is a warrior, so I'm sure she'll make it. Aurora, it's my fault» she says, trying to contain her tears.
«I don't believe it Maria, I don't think so at all.»
«It is so, there's no getting around it. I haven't done enough.»
I fight against the impulse to tell her the truth about me, it destroys me to see her like this.
«She also told me how close you've been to her. I don't know if you know this, but even the simple gesture of the cigarettes was very important to her. You did everything you could, you do it for each of us.»
«But that's not enough, it's never enough in my profession. I wonder what sense it makes if then the result must be this.»
«But that's not always the case, you know it well. These are isolated cases.»
If she leaves this place, the next guests won't know a great person.
«They are lives, Aurora, not cases.»
«And that's why you have to stay, because you see us as people, sometimes you even look like a friend. Believe me, it's very important for us not to feel sick. Every person who comes here has already heard too many times how wrong she is, and only someone like you can change their mind.»
«Thank you, Aurora, but after completing my studies I will have a lot to think about.»
«Just don't leave anyone behind.»
If I think I have to come back here every week, the only thing that heartens me is her presence.
«Now go to the common room, I have some things to attend to.»
YOU ARE READING
Aurora's Shadow
RomanceAurora, forced into an eating disorder clinic at 17 years old, decides to find a compromise not to remain under observation. Her choices will lead her along a path full of lies, pain, unspoken anger, and false joys until, at the age of twenty, Tyler...