Aurora's Shadow

Chapter 20

Silence didnt appear. I speak cheerfully and feel I always have something to say.

Tyler is flawless, he knows how not to bore even after hours.

And now were here, walking through the deserted streets of this village whose name I don't remember. I don't know how far we've come, or where the car is.

I also lost track of time, it's amazing how you don't touch your cell phone when you have something to do.

The sky, however, shows the first signs of clearing, and I'm a little sorry.

«Casual encounters are always the best» he says, rolling yet another cigarette.

«Is there anything casual about this evening?» I ask smiling.

«What do you mean?»

He looks at me questioningly. Maybe Ive been guilty of presumption.

«Nothing» I just reply mortified.

«Aurora, you found me out. Yes, I made sure to be alone with you to ask to see us today, you arent wrong. I just hoped I wouldn't have to admit it.»

«Aren't you saying that to make me feel less stupid?»

«Certainly not. You see, it's just that you intrigued me right away, and when I put something in my head it isn't hard for me to find a way to reach it.»

Not even the melancholy gaze can unseat his personality. Its the one who makes the difference, combined with the rare ability to listen.

In other words, I would have accepted the day after seeing him.

«And was there a need to build a trap? If you wanted to spend time with me, just ask.»

«It isnt that simple for me. You see, I had to be sure of two things: first of all I didn't want to be wrong about you; and second, I didn't want you to refuse.»

I stop the march.

«What do you mean?»

«In the sense that I don't like being told no. Often I don't even ask a friend to go out if I'm not sure he wants to.»

«Tyler, I meant the first thing you wanted to be sure of.»

I doubt he didn't understand.

«I tell you weakness of mine and you only grasp the part of the speech that concerns you? That hurts me» he says jokingly.

«Don't try it, you owe me an explanation. Then let's go back to focusing on you.»

I also light a cigarette. I may not like what he is about to say as well as the rest.

«I immediately had a feeling looking into your eyes, so I did everything to hear you talk as much as possible when we were with others. I needed the time alone to be sure.»

«Sure of what Tyler?»

«That you know pain, and thats why I might be happy to talk to you.»

Im amazed, and suddenly I feel uncomfortable.

«Aurora, don't worry. I'm not asking you anything. If one day you want to talk to me about something Ill listen to you, if you don't want to do it, itll be the same. It was more a speech referred to me. I don't often feel comfortable with a person.»

His words reassure me, at least for now.

«But how can you know, Tyler? How can you be sure not to make mistakes?»

«Because you haven't denied it.»

We start walking again and for a while I don't say anything.

Here it is, the silence has manifested itself. Louder than an orchestra, it acts as a background for thoughts that I can't link.

Tyler isnt interested in my smiles, but in what they hide. I thought I had become good, clever enough to hide from my boyfriend, clever enough to avoid any questions. And then a handsome guy comes along, with kind ways, and before I can even give him a hint, he gets to see something. Can he smell the stench?

Yet, despite the disappointment in realizing that, from its corner, my deformity has found a way to get noticed, I don't want to run away immediately. After all, he didn't pretend to know, he just told me that, if I want, hell be willing to listen to me.

Removing him for this would make no sense.

Slowly the slight discomfort leaves me, and Im once again intrigued by my companion.

«Tyler, why are you afraid that people don't want to spend time with you?» I ask sincerely eager to hear the answer.

«Because maybe I don't want to.»