A Series Of Life Changing Events

Chapter 15: Blast From The Past

AUTHORS NOTE: If it's in italics that means it's a dream.

I walk into the door and drop my bag. Today was interesting. I pop in some pizza rolls and switch on my music. I can't cook without music. Nobody's home so I don't need headphones. I dance around the microwave waiting for what seems like an eternity. They finally beep and I take them out and set them on the table. I pick one up and squeeze the mixture of sauce and cheese out of the crust and into my mouth. Then I eat the crust separately. I poor myself a glass of Diet Pepsi and sit down to finish one of my previous drawings. I keep drawing the girl with no shoes everywhere. My math notebook is entirely covered in pictures of her and song lyrics in the margin. I stare at the picture of the girl when suddenly the phone starts ringing. Every time I try to figure this out I'm always interrupted! I get up to answer the phone and don't think to check the caller id first. Then I hear a man's voice. It's really familiar, but I can't really tell who it is when it's covered in static. "Hello, is Gerard there?" I knew it would probably be for him. "No, sorry. Can I take a message?" I ask even though I probably won't remember. "Can you just tell him that Brendon called?" WAIT ONE FRICKING SECOND! "Is this Brendon Urie by any chance?" I say trying to keep my voice calm. "Yes. May I ask who I'm speaking to?" I drop the phone and scream. When I try to pick it up again it's off. I think I clicked the button when it fell. I guess I'll have to wait for Gerard to get home for him to call Brendon back. I wait for no longer than an hour texting Jess about Brendon. Then I hear the door open. I run to it. "Oh hey Brendon Urie called for you and you should call him back like right now!" I say handing him the phone. "Really? What did he want?" Gerard asks putting in his number. "I don't know I screamed and hung up..." I say quietly. He starts to laugh. "He's probably so confused." He says putting the phone up to his ear waiting for someone on the other side to pick up. "Hey, what's up?" I wish I could hear both sides of the conversation. "Yeah, sorry about that. That was my daughter." He laughs. Oh God I hope Brendon doesn't hate me. "Yeah, I just adopted her recently. Her name's Lilly. She's awesome." Aww I'm not awesome, but I appreciate the compliment. "She screamed cause she's obsessed with you. She's wearing a panic shirt right now." He says laughing. Why does he always have to do this. "Would you please stop embarrassing me?!" I say putting the plate from the pizza rolls in the dish washer. "I can't. I'm your father. It's my job." He says and continues to talk to Brendon. I sigh and continue to my drawing. I try to not listen to their conversation, but I'm extremely curious. I can't hear much. It's way to hard to judge what they're talking about by only hearing half the conversation. Gerard turns to me. "Lil can you do me a favor?" He asks pausing his conversation with Brendon. "Sure." I say getting up. "Go clean your room." I sigh. "My room is clean." He laughs. "Well at least you can see the floor." I say hoping he won't kill me for it. "Please." He says giving me a stupid funny face. "Fine." I say giving an extra long fake sigh and exchanging a funny face back. I walk upstairs and start to work on laundry first. That would probably be the easiest place to start. I clean up all the laundry and then I go for my drawer. I haven't gone through any of this crap since I moved. Then I come across a small box. I open it. That was a big mistake. There are somewhere around a hundred photos in there. All of them are from when I was younger. They're all happy family photos. I start to remember the house. I remember the daily routines, the secret play places, and all the inside jokes only a little kid would find funny. One of the secret play places was the meadow behind my house. It was hidden by a wall of trees, but there was one special tree in the middle. My sister and I used to play under that tree all year round. It was our special place. Then I start flipping through the pictures. This is urgent. I flip very quickly until I find what I'm looking for. Then I run downstairs and get the picture of the girl with no shoes and run it upstairs. I jump onto my bed and stare at the pictures and the drawing looking for differences and I fail to find any. How could I not see this before?! The girl is my sister! I'm so blind. It was Skylar this whole time! I start to laugh remembering the actual reason why she wasn't wearing any shoes. We were having a small party at our house and my cousin knocked her shoes into the pool. Sky was so mad. She pushed him into the pool. Then we ran to our special tree before our parents noticed what had happened. She was wearing a summer dress, but it was mid fall. She was only wearing a dress because she was forced to. She only had a couple dresses and they were mostly summer dresses. I can't stop laughing at the perfect memories. It's getting late. I have dinner and do my homework that should have been started hours ago. I forget to ask Gerard what Brendon wanted, but it doesn't really matter any more. I go to sleep and things seem alright in my mind, but the are still negative feelings deep inside.

~AROUND 3AM~

"Why couldn't you save them Lily?" Skylar says holding me up against the wall and hitting me repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I tried." I can barley talk with her hands wrapped around my neck. "Yeah, just like you tried to help me too." She says laughing. "They think I'm crazy here. I'm the crazy one? What about you? You deserve to be locked up in here too." She says tightening her grip. "Why didn't you ever come visit me? You have a perfect life with perfect friends and a perfect family, but you forgot about your old family. DIDN'T YOU?!" She says punching me in the face. "Sky, please." I say barley able to talk. "Sorry little sis." She says laughing and dropping me to the floor. Then she kicks my head repeatedly against the wall. Before everything fades out I see her take out a gun. "This is all your fault." Then my vision fades and the last thing I hear is a gun shot.

I wake up screaming and crying. My entire body is covered in sweat and I'm breathing heavily. I hear running towards my room. It's probably Gerard. I whip away my tears and try to act cool. I just have to pretend like everything's okay. He opens the door and turns on the light. "Hey is everything okay?" He asks walking over to the side of my bed. "Yeah. I'm alright." I say lying. "Is alright special code for not really alright at all?" He asks looking into my eyes trying to find an answer. "Why?" I ask about to break out in tears again. "Because I've been alright before too." I just loose it. I can't lie to him. I start crying and he brings me into his arms. I feel so bad for him. It must be tiring dealing with a stupid teenager crying in your arms at 3am. "It was just so horrible. Sk-Skyler was there. She was m-mad. It's all m-my fault!" I ruined Sky's life. I ended my parents' lives. I probably even ruined Gerard's life. He got stuck with such a stupid girl like me. "Shhh. How could any of this be your fault?" He says in a soft calming voice. "THEY WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THAT NIGHT!" I scream as he tightens his grip around me. I forget about Bandit sleeping a couple rooms over. I just need to scream. "I WAS AT A SLEEPOVER AND GOT SICK! THEY WENT TO PICK ME UP AND GOT IN AN ACCIDENT SO YES IT WAS MY FAULT! ON THE WAY BACK HOME WE GOT HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER! OF COURSE LUCKY ME I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SURVIVE OR NOT GO COMPLETELY PSYCHOPATHIC! MY PARENTS ARE DEAD AND MY SISTER IS CRAZY! SKYLAR WAS RIGHT! I SHOULD HAVE DIED TOO!" I have a complete breakdown letting go of all the built up emotions since the accident. Gerard just holds me close and starts to sing. It's the same old comforting song. I still don't know the song, but he's singing the actual lyrics this time. The lyrics seem dark and complex, but the mood is calm and comforting. I like it. He rocks me back and forth and eventually I calm down enough to drift back to sleep. He lays me back down a and kisses me on the forehead whispering "I love you and this will never be your fault." When his body finally leaves mine. I feel cold and afraid. "Wait." I say before he leaves. "What?" He asks stoping in the door way. "Will you stay with me?" I ask shifting in my bed. "Sure." He says with a smile on his face. He turns off the light and walks over to the bed. Then he climbs in and pulls me into his arms. I feel safe with him by my side. Nothing can hurt me right now.