If someone in the past were to tell you that heart break did in fact, hurt in real life like a bitch, you'd probably laugh at their faces like a crazed dumbass.
After all, why would a break up cause a tremendous amount of pain to someone? It just didn't made sense to you. It seemed absurd.
But right now, there was nothing more that you could feel but the piercing pain that slashed through your chest as you shakily exhaled a deep breath, balling your fists on your sides while your eyes remained focused on the golden grains of sand. The tawny color reflecting the sunset that was happening in the horizon.
Your mind seemingly emptied itself with the exception of Jay's words repeating inside your mind like a mantra, a broken cassette record with no hints of stoping.
"Let's break up," he said the words while his eyes refused to meet yours, too afraid to see the shock, pain and betrayal in your own eyes as he sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration before he further explained.
"I got accepted in the university that I applied for and I'm leaving next month."
Nonetheless of the pain, pride swelled in your heart. You trusted his capabilities enough to know that he'll pass the entrance exam despite his counters that he can't. And now that it did in fact grew fruitful, a small smile etched its way onto your lips.
It was small, barely visible to the eye, just a twitch upwards to signify your happiness towards his achievement but with the current happening and how your relationship will goㅡwell, how you think it will go, it kept you from beaming a rather huge grin.
Happiness, pride, pain and sadness all clouded your mind that you couldn't easily think of the best thing to do then rather than to sport the mere smile you showed.
It was something regardless.
And Jay appreciates that.
The ravenette sighed, running a palm over his face before snatching your wrist and tugging you to his chest, wrapping his arms clad in his white dress shirt over your waist, burying his face in your hair.
"I can't give you the best when I'm far away, and I always want to give you the best because it's what you deserve, and you know that," he spoke, breath fanning your head all the while you clutched your fingers on his back.
And all of a sudden this day wasn't so good to you anymore.
It was supposed to be a nice one. You had just finished submitting the papers you needed for your own college needs. You received the news that you were granted a full scholarship for your whole college years. You paired a nice lunch and an afternoon tea with a friend of yours to celebrate that. It was supposed to be good.
Jay had called you to meet up at the beach and of course, you happily agreed, thinking that he was gonna be telling you something positive as well but you certainly did not expect this.
Were you too preoccupied with the thoughts of all nice things to forget that there are bad and negative things existing as well? Perhaps you did, but you didn't want to dwell on that thought right now.
"But I don't want anything more from you Jay, you being there is enoughㅡ"
He cuts you off, "And that's exactly it," he grumbled. "I can't be there for you anymore. Not like how I used to anyways."
You turned silent.
Why was it that when you dearly love something and had genuinely dedicated your everything that it suddenly has to go and leave you?
Heart break was a bitch, that was for sure.
But at the same time, you realized that Jay had prioritized you many times that you could count. You could use this opportunity to do the same for him.
And as much you would love for Jay to be here with you, stay here with you, you knew it was selfish.
Why should you be greedy now when all the time Jay has been with you, he has been nothing but of that sort? In fact, he was the most selfless person you knew. Always prioritizing those other people around him than his own self.
"You'll be okay there right?" You managed to smile, bigger than the first one you gave out. You sniffed, placing your palms over the plane of his chest, lightly pushing him away from you to create some distance so you could take a good look at him. "You won't have to nag the others about their messy ways anymore, that should be a relief now shouldn't it?"
Jay chuckled, letting you brush away the hair that fell on his forehead. "I'm never gonna live that down, won't I?" He brings you back into his chest once again, sighing in content.
"Nope," you silently replied. "You'll always be the nagging mother of the group. Heeseung won't have someone to balance your group out now without you after you leave."
"He'll manage."
"Doubt so."
"Wanna bet?"
You pushed his forehead away, laughing. "You'll immediately lose and we both know it. He can be childish at times and he likes to leave some chores unattended."
Jay nodded his head, bringing his arms to wrap over your waist as you both faced the setting sun in the distance. His crisp white dress shirt and your own white sun dress bathing in the warm glow. Smiles of your own tugging at your lips and a content glow in your eyes.
For now, the both of you will bask in the presence of another.
Who knows for how long the both of you have to wait things out. Or, will it ever even work again in the near future?
Things aren't as clear. The both of you are empty with any ideas to what the future holds for the two of you. There was nothing as of the moment but you'll trust the fate to work their magic and entangle your way again towards one another.
Just like how they did the first time.
It worked rather magnificently if in dire need to be mentioned.
Surely it work again in the second time around in the future.
So leisurely, you both watched the sun meet the crystal blues in the horizon, painting the whole beach front with it luscious golden bathe and warmth that made you unconsciously hug the male more.
Sparing you a lingering gaze, Jay spoke,
"The sunset is beautiful today, isn't it?"
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ONEIRIC. enhypen
Fanfiction❝and in my dreams, i hope to see you. ❞ © enhypens 2020 | ENHYPEN