ONEIRIC. enhypen

park sunghoon • new message !

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NEW MESSAGE !
박성훈
angst , no comfort ,
past lovers , implied
cheating , mentions
of lee heeseung

bree © enhypens 2022

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The yellow light being emitted by his bedside lamp remained as the only source of light inside his dark room.

In hindsight, Sunghoon was indisputably nervous and sad about the next things to come through although his face was lacking any emotion on the surface.

He wasn't ready to do this yet despite it being almost six years.

He wasn't entirely ready to let go of the very first woman he had loved like no one else. His heart, though glad and happy that she was on the receiving end of a love that Sunghoon himself failed to provide, was on the brink of breaking.

His heart was not made out of glass; fragile and easily broken, but from how he feels now, it might have been as well.

Ruffling his raven tresses, Sunghoon picks up the phone from his bedside table.

"H-Hi. It's me, Sunghoon." He clears his throat as he crosses his legs together in attempt to cease shaking them. "I just want to come and say a few things before your wedding tomorrow. I know, I know... this is such a bad timing but I just wanted to say some of the things from my chest before the day arrives, and... you can't be mine again, anymore."

In unison, the memories of you ran in his mind, painting his memory panels with nothing but you; your euphonic laugh and the way your eyes crinkle when doing so, your lame puns and jokes that he still laughed at despite being so bad, your habit of pouting your lip when concentrating, and being able to receive a magnitude of kisses, hugs and cuddles from you that he now no longer can go back to.

Sunghoon feels like he was suffocating. Like a sudden heavy weight tugged at his chest, prompting him to pause and take a deep breath that for sure, was audible in the audio.

He felt stupid and pathetic. Wasn't he the one who broke things off? Wasn't he the one who told you about his own infidelity, happening for the last three months into your guy's three year long relationship?

Was he not the sole reason why he lost the very best that he had in an exchange for a temporary adrenaline and challenge?

Sunghoon pinches the bridge of his nose, taking yet another deep breath to calm the abrupt anger directed to himself. He forced his eyes closed.

"I know... I know, I broke us. And all I can say to you now is how regretful I am that I did what I did. I repent for every stupid decisions I ever made in our relationship, every single day hoping that you're the happiest in love and in life. You deserve it, so fucking much after what I've put you through." Sunghoon's eyes fell on the picture frame beside his table. He never once took the photo out nor even thought about discarding it.

After all, photos were his only remaining piece of you. But after tonight, despite how awful he might feel, Sunghoon knows he needs to let you go, he needs to let go.

"I know you're gonna be happy with him." A smile paints itself on his lips. "Heeseung hyung huh? Just make sure he wouldn't feed you ramen every single day, alright?" To that, a light laugh escapes him.

"I hope you're happy with him. I know hyung will take care of you not only because it's in his nature to do so, but because I know he loved you before I even loved you." Another pause. "The guy's been waiting to love you his whole life, to have you as his in his life. But I got in the way of that, and even then I fucked things up between the two of us."

Sunghoon remembers the day that Heeseung found out about what he did behind your back. He remembers receiving a really, really painful uppercut to the right side of his jaw and colorful words pertaining to how much of an asshole he was for hurting you.

Heeseung wasn't wrong in that though.

Though Sunghoon wished he was as good of a person as Heeseung was. Perhaps if he was, it would probably be him you're tying ends with. But he wasn't, and damn he wished it was him.

"I don't wanna make this any longer, you'll probably be bored if I ranted my heart out." Lies. Sunghoon knew you would listen. You always did. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for everything that I did. For the hurt that I caused you, for breaking your trust, for putting this gaping hole between the two of us. I am sincerely, utterly apologetic for everything."

Sunghoon leans to take the frame by his bedside table, soaking in the photo of him and you for the last time. "I hope you have a blast at the wedding tomorrow [Y/N]. Thank you... for everything that you did for me.
　
　

I love you, please always remember that."

And he flips the photo downwards.