SamBucky one shots

Broken

A/N: Words: 994 . I saw a Tumblr post that inspired me on imbiandimintoomanyfandoms's blog.  So yeah, I wrote it.  Enjoy!

Bucky sits in the Wilson family room, flipping through the channels on the TV. He ends up getting stuck on some channel, Bucky doesn't bother paying attention, considering it was just background sound for his thoughts. Bucky is snapped from his thoughts when he hears the word "queer" and, following that, "homo". Bucky's heart rate picks up. Oh god, oh no, he thinks, because remembering correctly from his youth he shouldn't hear this, he shouldn't know this , he shouldn't feel this. Unfortunately, he can't turn the damned thing off. So he sits there, absorbing every word that the documentary says, enthralled. He never...

Sam comes in from his evening jog to find Bucky Barnes on his couch, and rolls his eyes fondly. He makes his way over to the man in his living room. He stops for a moment, after hearing the words "queer". He sucks in a breath and sits next to the man with caution. He doesn't know if Bucky has some sort of prejudice, because well, it's never come up. When fighting super soldiers and purple rock collectors, sexual identities aren't a common conversation topic. What piles onto this dread and pit in Sam's stomach, is that he's not exactly out to Bucky. As he said, not a usual conversation avengers are having.

Bucky gets tenser and tenser as it goes on, not knowing what's gonna come up. He feels the couch dip and flinches, regardless of the fact that it's Sam. He goes to reach for the remote, but he hears Sam's voice. "No, it's fine". The words are said in such a caring and judge-free way, so he sets the remote down.

The documentary goes on to talk about more orientations and give further explanations. With each one he gets tenser, not knowing what's ok and not. His intense discomfort doesn't allow him to realize that his fingers continue digging into his thighs.

Sam takes note of all of this and is now seriously worried about Bucky's mindset. He sees how Bucky is avoiding his eyes, sees his fingers dig into his thighs, sees his shoulder hunched and scared. His eyes look almost scared, but some relief that Sam can't put his finger on. After the silence between the two men, Bucky speaks, finally. He keeps his eyes down, almost in shame, as he asks "Are those, um, things, okay, really okay, to like men and women?" Bucky asks so softly and timidly.

Sam now knows Bucky's views. And it broke his heart in two. His face is washed in disappointment. He is washed with disappointment. And hurt. He is hurt. That through all of this, he built this relationship with the man beside him, to find out he won't accept him. He stops those thoughts before it goes too far, before he gets to tears, he answers Bucky. "Yeah, they are" Sam cringes. He didn't mean to sound so cold, it's just, he couldn't believe it. After all this time, Bucky couldn't accept him.

Bucky flinches at Sam's tone. Panic takes over his entire body. Does Sam not support it? Does Sam not support him? Another truth dawns on him. He's almost in tears, adding quietly, mostly to himself, "I-I always thought I was broken".

Sam's head whips around to Bucky fast, fast enough that he almost gave him whiplash. How could he NOT realize that this is where this conversation would go?

Memories hit him like a wall of bricks. Him sobbing to Sarah, head in hands. That had not gone well, Sam recalls. Sam realizes that the silence was a beat too long, because when he looks at Bucky's expression, he sees nothing but hurt, fear, and sorrow. He looks like he's gonna be sick. And Sam knows the feeling. But before anything can be said by Sam, Bucky gets up. "I, uh, sorry, damn, I gotta go... somewhere" Bucky strings the words together as he opens the door, moving out of the house in one swift motion. Sam's eyes fill with panic, and he takes off after the 106-year-old.

"Buck" Sam calls out to Bucky, who has made it to the clearing. Bucky looks up at him with fear and Sam's stomach drops. "I didn't grow up in the goddamn 40s to show back up here to-to..." Bucky starts, angry tears spilling from his eyes. Sam has a mixture of sadness and frustration build up in him. "How could you?" Bucky looks Sam in the eyes with those puppy dog eyes. Sam is left speechless.

"Buck, I, I'm-" Sam starts, as calm as this situation would let him be, but Bucky cuts off. "Sorry? You're sorry? Good, because for so long I've felt broken, felt scared of myself and what I am, and NOW I find out that, sure, I'm not alone, BUT, the one person who I have left hates me" Bucky laughs a humourless laugh. "Let me tell you, Wilson, it's not a good feeling". Sam has had enough, tears forming in his eyes. Hate him? Bucky thinks he hates him. "Bucky, I don't hate you, man, quite the opposite-" Sam starts, but Bucky cuts him off yet again. "REALLY, BECAUSE YOUR REACTION IN THERE DIDN'T SEEM TOO WELCOMING" Bucky welcomes the hot tears of fury pour down his face. "BUCKY, I'M PAN" Sam yells back, tears spilling from his eyes as well.

Bucky stiffens and looks at Sam in shock. "You're- really?" Bucky insists softly, moving closer and sniffs. Sam smiles weakly and rolls his eyes. "Yeah," Sam tells him simply, before pulling the other man in for a hug. Bucky gladly welcomes it, sniffing softly, and smiling widely.

"And Buck," Sam starts, "We're not broken, don't worry". Bucky smiles wider. "Thank you" is the only thing Bucky can muster. He's just so happy. After years of convincing himself this was unnatural, he finally realizes that it's not. He's not broken, and he's not alone. He has Sam, and Sam has him.