SamBucky one shots

come back... be here

A/N: words: 2875. hey folks this is quite unhinged. literally i'm not doing well because of this thing. its betaed, which is good. but yeah, other than that, good luck, have fun, im sorry. anyway, enjoy!

"What do you mean, you aren't gonna be home?" Bucky asked over the phone, static playing in the background of Sam's choppy voice.

"I want to be, you know that-"

"No, no, because if you did, you'd be here, right? You'd be here to hold our daughter for the first time, Sam." Bucky shouted, not caring about the other people in the hallway of the hospital. He heard Sam sputter out a breath. Bucky knew when Sam was about to cry. About to break down, need the pieces picked up without a word of sympathy.

"Jesus Christ, Bucky. It's not my fucking fault I'm not there. I should be there, I want to be there." You need to be here, is what Bucky wants to scream next. Because I don't know what to do if you're not here. "God, I'm supposed to be there, I'm so sorry, Bucky."

"Sam, I can't do this right now. She's almost here. And I just- I don't know what to do without you, Sam." Bucky admitted quietly, running his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he can't beat. He could hear Sam's ragged breathing, Sam's small sniffles. Hear gunfire behind him, too. Heard Torres yelling behind him. They needed to go. But he needed Sam. Right here, right now.

"I have to go."

"I know." Bucky muttered, his voice still bitter and masking the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" Bucky hissed.

"Bottle it up, don't you dare do that."

"You're not in a position to be saying that right now, Cap." Bucky grunted out.

"I'll be there." Sam said after a moment of silence.

"Better be." And Bucky hung up, a silence far too loud filling the void of Sam's voice. His daughter was soon to be born down the hall, and his husband was time zones away, not here. Not in his arms, not dozing off on his shoulder. He wasn't here. He should be able to hold his daughter, be able to hear Sam's voice, clear and present, as they held her for the first time.

He should be here right now. But Bucky's alone, pacing an empty hallway, with his husband worlds away. Worlds away from him, and worlds away from their daughter. Their daughter, who deserves to be met by Sam's brown eyes, Sam's warm voice, Sam's beautiful smile, and Sam's gentle hold, careful against all odds, angelic fighting against the devil. Their daughter, who deserved her father right now. She might as well get used to it, Bucky thought bitterly, as he made his way back into the waiting room.

~~~~~~

He couldn't tell Sarah. Couldn't look her in the eye and tell her that Sam wouldn't be here. Somehow, she already knew, with her jaw clenched as she stared head on, unwavering. As he sank into the plastic chair beside her, she reached out to his hand, brushing over his knuckles softly.

"I'm gonna kill him." On a good day, Bucky would defend Sam.

"Me too." He didn't bother this time around.

~~~~~~

It was all Sam could think about. How could it not be? He was somewhere that wasn't beside Bucky, wasn't in the same hospital he was born in. He shouldn't be where he is now. In a battle that lost all meaning when Sam realized his daughter could be born any minute, and he'd miss it. Miss seeing the way Bucky's face lit up in silent awe as he held their little girl for the first time, as she cooed and cried in his arms for the first time. As Sam stared into innocent eyes, that stared right back at him, and know that was the only thing that mattered.