SamBucky one shots

i'm the one that burned us down

A/N: words: 1878. as i hinted at to some of you... 'that was the moment i knew' HAS A SEQUEL. SLAYYYYYYY. yeah, this was fun. i sound like i've been through like 3 divorces when i write and it is so funny to me. anywho. enjoy!

 For the first few months it's hard. It's soul crushing. Its suffocation. Years and years of knowing, and loving, and understanding, and piecing together what seemed like an unsolvable puzzle shatters to the ground. The pieces of glass glisten like the diamond Sam should've worn on his left hand. Like the tears that refuse to fall from Sam's eyes. Because if they did, that would mean he was hurting. And he refused to believe that a man who put him through hell and back is the same man he yearns as he lays in a lonely bed in sleepless nights.

If only they had held on to what they had, then maybe it wouldn't have passed by like a wave on the shore.

~~~~~~~~~~

Like a gust of wind, Bucky's days and night melted together. He tore this relationship apart and never had the heart to piece it back together. He held onto it, so tightly it shattered in his hands. Cutting deep wounds that Sam's soft touch and sweet words should've patched up. But the clock ticks down. Life keeps moving no matter how much Bucky begs for peace and forgiveness and everything in between. Burning like a flame, the pain of what he left behind lingers.

So does the diamond ring. The box that sits where it always had, in a small drawer, with a note beneath it. What he was going to say if Sam said yes. Bucky was debating on burning it. Burning the final piece of what he and Sam had, and letting their ashes blow in the wind along with the broken words.

You can hurt people with the things you say, but you can burn them, leave them scarred, with things you didn't say. Bucky slowly started to realize this as the days became longer and the night became darker. Even in the darkest he had Sam. Even in long days and even longer nights, Sam grew in this darkness like a delicate daisy that was bound to blow in the wind. And the wind took Sam from Bucky. Bucky never thought he'd let it.

~~~~~~~~

Sam always thought Bucky would go running. Running after him like a shooting star in the night sky. Passing by you with only a silent wish. Sam always thought that was who Bucky was. Or, maybe he was only like that when his words flowed like calm waves and not sharp knives. When his movements looked angelic and not searing pain. But, Sam wonders under shinning stars, was that who Bucky really was? He couldn't imagine it was. Those steel blue eyes told Sam a thousand things, gave him a thousand sunsets, they never burned with fire. They never told Sam lies.

Until they did. Until the sorry look in the ocean of his eyes became a little too familiar. Until Sam realized that maybe Bucky wore a mask. Maybe the soft touches and gentle 'I love you's were all an act. An act for Sam to fall for. And Sam fell so hard. Maybe that's what burned their love to ash.

~~~~~~~~

The story of their lives became a lot less colourful. Days were quiet and nights were loud with thoughts. They wonder if the only sound that really mattered to each other was the other's heartbeat.

~~~~~~~

"I have to go, don't I?" Bucky asked while on the phone. 3 months after they broke up, another event popped up on their schedule.

"Sorry, man." Rhodey replied casually. Bucky sighed. He was still being dragged to these things. He hung up after biding Rhodey a farewell, slumping against his couch. The last thought in his mind was that Sam was invited.

~~~~~~~~

Sam got invited to yet another function. After having missions every other day, he finally found a break. But, of course, another event. He shouldn't be mad about it, he knows that. It's a part of his job, he knows that. If he doesn't go, they'll paint him in a worse light than they already do. So he accepted. He doesn't let his mind wander to the fact that Bucky'll be there, too. That, he couldn't bear.