Flames and Starlight

21🌘

Laura

I plastered a fake smile on my face as Grandma and I stood on the porch, watching as Dad pulled the car into the driveway. It was a struggle to keep the smile on my face when what I really wanted to do was groan and run far, far away.

Why did they have to come? Why couldn't they have let me continue my blissful freedom? Okay, my life wasn't completely blissful, but it had been a lot better since I'd moved in with Grandma.

I hadn't realized it, but a full month had passed since I'd left. A month in which so many things had changed, some good, some not so good, but all in all I was a lot better mentally since I'd gotten out of that house.

I knew it was unreasonable that I wouldn't have to face them or have any interactions with them, but I wished it could've gone a little longer before I had to. I mean, Mom and I did talk on the phone every day as well as her checking in with Grandma to know if I was telling the truth and if I was really doing as well as I was claiming.

But, of course, that was unreasonable as well. She was my mother, I was her youngest child, and she was going to want to see me in person at some point. Hopefully, it wouldn't be so bad and it'd be over quickly.

I watched as Mom, Dad, Alison, and Derek got out of the car and approached Grandma and I. My chest started to feel tight with anxiety as they got closer and closer. My face was feeling strained from the false smile I kept plastered on my face. 

Grandma clasped my hand. "It'll be okay," she whispered, her voice low enough so only I could hear. "Just smile and try to get along."

I gave her a subtle nod, just a quick bob of my head, trying to keep the smile on my face and greet my family even though what I really wanted to do was run.

To my surprise, a warm smile spread over my mother's face as she climbed up the steps.

"Laura, it's so good to see you," she gushed and pulled me in for a tight embrace.

"Hi, Mom," I said in surprise and hugged her back. "It's good to see you too."

She pulled back and cupped the side of my face, the warm, genuine smile still plastered on her face. "I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you."

Tears unexpectedly sprung in my eyes at her words and I found myself saying, "I've missed you too," and realized that deep down, I meant it. Despite our fighting and despite dreading seeing her in person, I did miss her on some level and I genuinely hoped we could repair our relationship.

Dad came over and gave me a side hug. "Hey, kiddo. Nice to see you."

I smiled up at him. "Nice to see you, too."

He ruffled my hair in the familiar way he'd always down. "Your hair's gotten long. You thinking about getting a haircut?"

A laugh escaped me. "No. I like my hair the way it is."

"That bob haircut you got that one time was cute. You should get it again."

"No, it was terrible!" I said, laughing even harder.

"No, it wasn't. You looked adorable."

"No, I looked like a twelve-year-old boy. Leave my hair alone," I said and playfully swatted at his arm.

He sighed and held up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. You can't blame a man for trying."

I laughed again and Alison approached me. Immediately, the amusement died as I remembered how sour the relationship between her, Derek, and I had gone. In a way, the way my relationship with my siblings had gone downhill hurt even more than the way my relationship with my mom because it felt like both of them had turned against me and both of them had cut me out of their lives. It still stung that they'd gone out with our mutual friends without telling me and I knew that they'd done stuff like this more than once.