When it Stops Hurting (Royce)

23

Jacob's P.O.V.

"When you and mom get home, I have to talk to you guys" I said hesitantly, I looked out the window of my dad's car, "it's important".

"I'll be home later than usual. You might have to tell me tomorrow, or right now". I nervously bit my nail, I didn't want to tell him right now, I was afraid he would lash out at me, but I needed to tell him. It couldn't wait.

"I'm moving out".

"Excuse me?"

"I'm moving out" I repeated, "I'm eighteen, I'm an adult. I'm moving out".

"And where exactly are you going to go?"

"I'm going to live with a friend from middle school for a while, until I can really get on my feet. I plan to be out of the house by next week, if not sooner".

"And you think this is a good idea?"

"Quite frankly, yes. I can't live under the same roof as you and mom, not when I'm receiving this type of treatment from the both of you. I'm going to move out, and I'm not going to go to conversion therapy anymore".

"I still expect you to go".

"It's not what you want anymore, you don't get what you want because I'm not living in the same house as you. I don't have to listen to a thing you say to me. The minute I step out of you and mom's house for good, I am done with conversion therapy". The rest of the car ride was silent, I stared out the window while my dad tightly held onto the steering wheel. I rolled my eyes, ever so thankful that he was pulling into the staff parking lot of my school. I got out of his car without saying a word to him, I was upset at the fact that he honestly thought I was going to continue conversion therapy even after I moved out. He didn't have a say in what I did with my life anymore. I looked over at the sound of a car dar closing and noticed it was Chresanto, he walked up to me, smiling.

My dad had yet to drive away, due to the fact that a car was in front of him, and he couldn't back up either. Chresanto noticed this and began walking in the other direction, it hurt that he knew he couldn't be around me at the moment. I quickly walked over to him, calling out his name, he looked at me. I kissed him, I didn't care if my dad could see the two of us or not, I wasn't going to have Chresanto for long, I needed to enjoy the time that I had with him. 

I felt his arms around my waist, he pulled me closer to him, I closed my eyes. I really hoped my dad could see Chresanto and I, and yeah, I know I'd probably end up paying for it in conversion therapy, but I needed to get my point across. I was eighteen, I wasn't going to be controlled by him or my mother, or Pastor Wayne, for much longer. Either my parents get over their homophobia, or they lose me for good.

"What was that for?" Chresanto asked once the kiss came to an end, I looked at him. "I'm just happy to see you. I told my dad that I was moving out, now I just need to tell my mom. It didn't go really well with my dad, I don't think. She probably won't be any different.

~~*~~

I was right, she was not any different. The minute I told her I was moving out, she reacted so negatively. "Your father and I have only been trying to help you. This is your big idea, you think moving out is going to solve all of your problems? Just because you are eighteen, doesn't mean you know what you are doing with your life".

"I'll figure something out, but I won't figure it out here. I don't care what you have to say, I'm going to be out of this house by next week". I stood up to leave, but then my mom said something that really caught my attention.

"You won't be safe out there".

I looked at her, "I'm not safe here" I said, "mom, don't you understand?" I was so frustrated at the fact that her nor my dad had enough sense to realize that I was slowly giving up. I fought to keep my tears from falling, "you and dad are ruining my life, I'm eighteen, I shouldn't wake up and feel like I'm suffocating. I shouldn't be afraid that my parents are going to hit me or talk down on me when I do something wrong. I should feel content with my life, but I'm not. This isn't a safe place for me".