When it Stops Hurting (Royce)

29

(A/N: last chapter before epilogue and possible alternate ending, enjoy loves).

Jacob's P.O.V.

"I have to tell you something" I spoke, my voice coming out a lot more nervous than I intended. I stared at my mom and dad who were sitting on the couch. I had the urge to back out, I didn't want them to know, but I knew I had to tell them. I couldn't walk around and pretend like I wasn't raped by a girl who I had never met before. I need to tell them what happened on my last day of conversion therapy. I took a deep breath, running my fingers through my hair. "I was raped".

It was silent.

Really, really, silent.

"When?"

"Oh, please!" My dad exclaimed, "Theresa, don't you dare give him what he wants". I took a small step back when he stood up, "let me guess, this happened during the conversion therapy?" I nodded a little, knowing good and well he was not going to believe me. He chuckled, "of course, everything bad happens at conversion therapy, doesn't it, Jacob?" I stayed quiet, fearing what he'd do if I spoke.

"We are trying to help you, and this is what you do? You say you've been raped? You need to own up to the fact that you are in conversion therapy and stop making up petty excuses, boys don't get raped, do you hear me?" I blinked back my tears, not wanting him to see me cry, he didn't deserve the satisfaction. "I said, do you hear me?" He grabbed my arm, shaking me a bit. I nodded, wishing I could just disappear, I don't even know why I tried this. Why did I actually think my parents would believe a thing I said? Oh, yeah, because you know, underneath the homophobia they're my parents, and they're supposed to love and support me.

He walked away, going upstairs. I watched him go, biting my lip, I wiped at my eyes. I took a shaky breath, preparing myself to go to my room, but then my mom spoke. "Is it true?" I looked at her, I shook my head just a bit, giving up.

"No, forget it" I murmured, I turned to leave. She grabbed my hand. She hadn't touched me in so long, and even though it made me feel uncomfortable and panicky, I looked at her, and I didn't pull away.

"Please, baby, don't lie" she begged, her eyes glazing over with tears. "Did... Did someone touch you?"

I felt as if it took me forever to muster up the strength to nod. "Oh my God" my mom said, her hands covering her mouth, tears streamed down her cheeks as she sat there. "Come here". I sat beside her, my own tears collecting at the brim of my eyes. "Mom, I told her to stop so many times" I spoke, struggling to form my words, "she wouldn't listen, and I couldn't push her away because whatever drug Pastor Wayne gave me made me feel so tired. I couldn't do anything to stop it".

"I'm so sorry, Jacob, I am". She hugged me, I didn't hug her back. She was showing sympathy to me now, but she was the one who forced me into conversion therapy. I could be greatful for her care and concern right now, but where was it when I came home in bruises or when my dad hit me? She was no where to be found.

"I'm calling the police" she said, "I'm going to tell them what happened".

"No, you aren't". I looked at my dad, who was descending the stairs. "Jacob, is eighteen, he needs to take this like a man. It's for the best, he needed it, it should force him from his sin".

I stood up from my spot on the couch, preparing to go to my room. I didn't think I had it in me to deal with him, at least my mom cared. "You should really think about what you say before you say it" I murmured as I walked past my dad, he grabbed my arm. "Don't fucking touch me" I said, freeing myself from his grip.

"Watch your mouth".

"You tell me I need to take things like a man, implying that I am an adult. You tell me this, but then you treat me like a child. Make up your mind, do you want me to act like a child or grow some balls and ignore the fact that I was raped?" I asked, "you make me so damn sick, you aren't a father to me at all. I'm not even going to waste my breath on you, you're not worth it, and you never were".