When it Stops Hurting (Royce)

6

Chresanto's P.O.V.

"Chres, why can't you be more like Rayan? Yeah?" My mom asked, watching me as I poured hot tea into a thermos. 

"Um..." I muttered, glancing at my brother who was too busy fixing his breakfast to hear the insult that was thrown my way. "I hate to break it to you, mom, but I'm not Rayan". I rolled my eyes discreetly, "I don't really know what you want me to do". This was how it was every morning, my mom would get up to start her morning early and so would my dad. No one would say a word to anyone until we all seemed to meet in the kitchen to make our own individual breakfast, unless stated otherwise. Small conversation would be made, mostly from my parents, and most of the things they said pertained to Rayan and not myself. 

"I know, but maybe you could get out more?" I furrowed my eyebrows at my mother's statement. "Try out for a sport, maybe?" 

Rayan looked at me, sending me a curious look. I shook my head a little, a silent signal telling him that I did not inform our parents about trying out for basketball. He raised an eyebrow, I looked away. I didn't tell my parents that I was trying out for basketball because if I did manage to make the team, I didn't want to disappoint them more than I already did. I wasn't as good as Rayan.

"Well, what's going on in the world of Rayan?" My dad asked, and just like that... We were all about Rayan. "It's basketball season, are you trying out again?"

I grabbed my thermos and a bruised banana from the fruit basket. "I don't think so" he murmured.

"Oh, why not? You're good, whose games will we go to then?"

"You have another son" I blurted out, I stared at my dad, "you know that right?" Rayan seemed to grimace when the words slipped from my mouth, "but I mean... I totally don't care if you're only concerned about Rayan, he's the perfect son, anyway".

"Chres" Ray said, walking up to me. I pushed past him, "no, I have to go" I stated, "forget it". I walked into the living room, picking up my bag on the way. 

"Why do you have to say things like that?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, turning around to look at my brother. "Because it's true?" I replied. 

"No, it's not". 

I shook my head a little, my lips tugging into a small grin, "look, I know you're trying to not hurt my feelings, but just let it go, okay? You're perfect compared to me and our parents see that, why else would they talk about you all the time? Rayan did this and Rayan did that. Hey, Chres, how about you be more like your brother? You're all they talk about, Ray". I didn't want to have this conversation with him, at least not right now. I didn't see the point in talking about how he's the perfect son and I'm just here, not being anyone's favorite. 

"Did you ever think I'm all they talk about because I'm all they have to talk about? I mean, you don't do anything, Chres. You don't play sports, you aren't in any clubs, you don't bring friends over" he stated, counting off all the points he made on his fingers. 

"That's because I've been in competition with you since our 8th grade year!" I exclaimed, "do you not remember when I played basketball that year? You tried out too, we were both on the team yet you still managed to get all the fucking praise from them!" I said, motioning to our parents in the kitchen. "I did just as good as you, but you still caught their attention". 

"That was one time, Chres". 

"That was one time out of many" I stated, "better grades, better at sports, better at making friends. You were just always better, and you still are, Rayan".