Silver Lining [Mick Schumacher]

Lonely People

"It's really scary
Truth is we all die alone
So you better love yourself before you go."
Lonely People; Demi Lovato

-

Minutes had passed, and not a single word had been said from Hestia or Alistair's side, the silence filling his office. Hestia was seated on his leather couch, looking everywhere but not at him. She was glad that Mick went first, it felt like salvation to her. She would lie if she said that she slept peacefully the night before. 

"Hestia, I know this is our first real meeting and I know you are not used to this. But how can I help you if you keep silent?" Alistair let out a puff of air after a good twenty minutes of complete silence. He was a very patient man, but even his patience had limits. Hestia was the one who wanted to start therapy, she seemed very determined. However, the determinacy flew out of the window as soon as she stepped inside, " I know it's hard to open up for you but still, I would appreciate a bit more from you."

"I know," Was the first sentence that came from Hestia as she was looking at her hands in her lap. Alistair was frustrated, she could feel it. And she didn't blame him, she would be frustrated too. She expected much more from herself, and this time, it looked promising. But she got let down, again.

"Look, if you are not ready for this, we can postpone the meeting. I am the last person that would pressure you into anything. If you just want a silent seance, that's fine, we can do it. But you have to communicate and tell me what do you actually want and what will work for you. I can't see inside your head, Hestia. And this weird silence confuses me." Talk, that's what people say. It's so easy, just let it out.

"That's the problem. I don't know it either," Hestia shrugged and looked at Alistair with a desperate look in her gentle eyes, "if I knew it, I wouldn't be sitting here," Alistair was pensively staring in front of him while twirling the pen between his fingers. He never felt more desperate to help someone out, but Hestia was like hieroglyphs. You crack the code, eventually. But it takes time, and it's an extremely difficult task, "I'm so sorry, I'm only taking away your time. I don't think I can do something with myself, I'm a lost cause."

"That's not true," Alistair spoke up when Hestia was just about to stand up, "I'm sorry if I sounded harsh and impatient, that is so unprofessional of me. But you are such a tough nut to crack, I am probably getting too invested."

"Oh, you don't say," Hestia snorted, not surprised by Alistair's words. How she wished she would not be difficult to understand. Maybe if she was a man, everything would be much simpler.

"What about your red notepad?" Alistair decided to try a different approach, getting Hestia's attention immediately. Since Zara gave it to Harper, it was no longer a secret, "have you written anything new recently?"

"I have, but I don't have it with me right now."

"Do you remember it?" If Hestia didn't want to talk, maybe her writing could do the talking instead. It was worth the try.

No man is an island, that's what John Donne says
but I'm not sure if he's wrong or right.
One day I want all eyes on me
the attention of the whole universe is not enough.
I'm yearning for everyone to be a friend of mine
I use the charm I got from my mom
they are laughing, they are crying, so am I
because the last thing I need is to be alone.
But the next day I want to hide
from the stares and whispers that only make me cry.
I feel like the whole world fell on my back
nobody is there to give me a hand.
But they all come to my pity party
we dance all night and drink rainbow cocktails
but when sun goes up and I open my eyes
I'm just a sad rich lonely famous human.