Silver Lining [Mick Schumacher]

Getting Older

"Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing
And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed
Which is ironic because when I wasn't honest, I was still being ignored."
Getting Older; Billie Eilish

-

"May I have a question?" Mick broke off a long silence between him and Hestia. He was patiently waiting if she would pick up courage and share a few of her struggles. But after minutes and minutes of pure nothingness, he started losing faith that this would lead anywhere. Maybe it wasn't a good idea, maybe he ruined everything by being too pushy. Maybe he lost a little piece of trust he earned. Maybe he should have let her be in the small bubble she inhabited, not trying to pop it. When he was already forming a goodbye sentence in his head, he decided to give this one last try. One last nudge before he would go and forget about any of this. Before he would vanish from Hestia's life for good.

"Sure," Hestia peeped while looking into the pitch-black darkness of the night. It seemed as if she wasn't even aware of Mick's presence, being too absorbed in her inner world only she had access to. But deep down, she didn't want him to go, she liked the feeling of not being alone. It didn't allow her to come back to her own torture machine: inner thoughts.

"What does acting mean to you?" Hestia turned her head to Mick with furrowed eyebrows, was he really asking her this? "A silly question, I know," he chuckled lightly when he saw her facial expression, "but I thought that it could be a good ice-breaker question. It is obviously a huge and significant part of your life, so I guessed it might be something you like to talk about."

"I used to," Hestia spoke up, and for the first time in a while, it seemed like she was going to say more than a one-word answer, "because back then, acting was everything to me. Everybody knew that I was going to follow my mother's footsteps, it was more than obvious. I had all the prerequisites I could possibly have. It was something I grew up with, it was the only thing I knew. As time went by, it became an obsession of mine. I was fascinated by the possibility to live different lives and explore varied aspects of a human life. For a limited amount of time, I could play a person whose life didn't suck as much as mine did. I simply romanticized this profession and was devastated when it all turned sour."

"What changed your view on acting?"

"That it's not a fairytale I imagined it was," Hestia shrugged, "acting really was the one and only plan I ever had. But my biggest mistake was that I created my view on the movie-making industry solemnly by watching my mother already being a respected actress. I watched her go from one great role to a better one, I watched people being willing to buy her a moon just to have her on board. And...and for some unknown reason I thought this is how it all works."

"And it doesn't?"

"Not in the slightest. And I should have known that I'd been living in a perfect illusion. But to my defense, I was thrown into this world at a very young age. I got my first role when I barely had my brain developed," Hestia briefly reminiscenced her acting beginnings at the age when she could barely walk.

"Wait, so you were something like a child star?" Mick asked with amazement very much audible in his voice.

"Not really, no," Hestia chucked, "those roles didn't really matter, I barely had a line. And it was almost always in mother's movies. When they needed a child, she brought me. That's where my passion for acting started. And I also had my mother's attention once in a while," Hestia sighed, remembering how desperate she was to win her mother's heart over, "but enough talking about me, even though it flatters me. What made you pursue racing? Inevitable destiny?"