My Name Is Depression

Chapter 11

Is death an answer to our pain?

Does it end the pain that we're experiencing and enduring?

Nakapikit man ang mga mata at hindi magalaw ang buong katawan, naririnig ko pa rin ang mga ingay sa paligid.

I see nothing but I can hear everything.

Isang malakas na sigaw ang dumagundong bago ko naramdaman na umangat ang katawan ko at maramdaman ang lamig.

"Conner!" tili ng kung sino. I can hear her sobs and I can even feel her trembling hands that were holding me.

"Why? What- Eli!" It's Dad. He's the only one who calls me Eli. So, the one who's crying must be Mom.

"Call an ambulance! Oh, God. Please, help us." She cried even more while holding me in her arms.

Someone pulled me out of the water. After a few seconds, I felt something soft wrap over me, making me feel warm.

"No. Get my keys, Yvonne! We'll bring her to the hospital! There's no time!"

Screams and cries are the only thing that I could hear.

"Oh, my God! Bumubula ang bibig niya, Dy!"

"Get the keys, Yvonne!"

"Jusko! Panginoon, gabayan ninyo ho si Malaya." I heard Nana Yoli's voice.

"Tito, what happened?! Maya!"

"Get out of the way, damn it!"

Dinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto, probably the car's door. May mga braso na yumakap sa'kin at patuloy akong hinahalikan sa ulo.

"Baby..."' She cried.

Mom...

"You were okay! You already drink your medicine but... " Paputol-putol ang mga salita niya dahil sa walang tigil na pag-iyak.

"Bilisan mo, Dy! Oh, god! My baby!"

Let me just give up, Mom.

Let me just let go.

Let me just stop trying.

Let me just stop fighting.

I'm too tired from enduring the pain.

I'm just too tired.

Too tired that I'm willing to stay in the dark.

Darkness... Black.

Black that sometimes represents death.

"How is she, Doctor?"

"She is fine now. We injected an antidote to counteract the medications she was taking. She had taken an overdose of a medication, according to the lab results. The majority of medications have side effects. That's why, whenever we put a patient on medication, we tell them exactly when they should take it. The more medicine you take, the more probable it is that you will have a negative effect. We discovered that she drank five tablets. Magpasalamat na lang tayo dahil naisugod ninyo agad siya rito at naagapan agad because a second late, she's..."

"Pero, doctora, naabutan namin siyang nasa bathtub. Nakalubog at wala ng malay."

"As per our conclusions, she took the medications first before soaking in the bathtub. She didn't lose consciousness as a result of the water; it was a side effect of the medication. Segundo lang marahil ang itinagal niya sa ilalim ng tubig bago ninyo siya nakita. She is fine now, but we must continue to monitor her and wait for her to awaken. Kailangan ulit namin siya i-examine kapag nagising siya. That's all. If you have any questions, you can call the nurse that was assigned to her."