My Name Is Depression

Chapter 24

Warning: violence

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"No!" I screamed.

I was sobbing so hard when I threw the pregnancy test away from me. I moved back while shaking my head, unable to believe of what's going on.

My throat began to dry up as I tugged my hair and looked around.

What if he's here? What if this is his plan?

"I-I can't..." I was having a hard time to utter a word. "Can't be p-pregnant!"

Hinampas ko ang vase na nakadisplay sa sala habang patuloy na humahagulgol sa iyak.

I thought it's over. I thought all I have to do now is to heal because he's behind the bars already. Pero bakit kailangan may bago na naman?

"C-can't I be h-happy?!"

I saw Nana Yoli who was shocked as well when she saw the pregnancy test. It was positive...

Pinasubok lang ako ni Nana kanina magtake dahil sa nararamadaman ko. I was so scared earlier. My hand was sweating cold as I waited for the lines to appear. It didn't occur to be but the thought of being pregnant to that disgusting man makes me want to kill myself now!

"Maya..." my cousin uttered. She was frozen in her place, shocked.

Napaupo ako sa sofa at natalulala. My mind was wandering everywhere as my eyes were roaming around. I slapped my face so hard that it made my ears ring. I just wanted to see if I was just dreaming. Maybe this is just a nightmare? Maybe I was just having a hard time waking up?

I slapped my cheeks again. I slapped myself multiple times to wake up but I couldn't. This can't be real...

I clutch my chest as I felt my lungs tightening, giving me a hard time to breath. I punch my chest, thinking it will help me lessen the pain.

"Maya, huwag mo saktan ang sarili mo..." Nana Yoli tried stopping me. Pero nahihirapan din siya dahil nanghihina siya sa nalaman.

"I-I can't have a baby with that man!" I shouted.

"I-I don't want t-this..." bulong ko. Nakatulala ako sa kawalan habang iniisip ang nangyayari.

I suddenly hit my head twice before pulling my hair. I frustratedly kick the table in front of me.

I heard them scream when another glass broke because of what I did.

"Oh, my god! What's happening?!" I heard Mommy scream when she entered the house.

"T-tita..." Abejuela cried. "S-si Maya po..."

"What?" nagtatakha at nag-aalalang tanong ni Mommy. I felt her immediately went near me and hold my cheeks up to face her.

"What happened, baby?" she asked. "What's going on? May masakit ba sa'yo?"

"M-mommy..."

I saw her eyes grow open when she heard me speak.

"Yvonne..." tawag ni Nana sa kaniya.

Nagtatakha at naguguluhan si Mommy na palipat-lipat ang tingin sa amin.

"Tell me what's going on!" sigaw niya.

"B-buntis si Maya..." nahihirapan banggit ni Nana. She cried more and held her neck, shaking her head.

"What..." Napatingin sa akin si Mommy at sa tyan ko.

She broke down and fell on her knees, staring back at me.

"No..." Humagulgol siya sa iyak habang hawak ang kamay ko. "Bakit kailangan mangyari 'to?"

Nakatitig lang ako sa nanginginig kong kamay nang mapatalon ako sa gulat nang may marinig akong boses. It's his voice. Is he here?!