My Name Is Depression

Chapter 2

Warning: abuse

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Life can be very difficult at times, but humans can make it even more difficult.

I can feel the cold gun was pointed at my waist while he painfully gripped my wrist. Dinig ko ang mahinang tawa nito na parang tuwang-tuwa pa sa akin, hindi alintana ang sobrang panginginig ng aking buong katawan.

"Masunurin ka naman pala. Akala ko ay tatanga-tanga ka't susuway sa aking utos. Tama nga sila't isa kang matalino." He laughed as he grinded his crotch against my arms.

I bite my lower lip as I try not to stifle any sound, but a few sobs escape as I can't hold myself together any longer. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata'y kasabay no'n ang pag-agos ng mga luha na gawa sa pangaabuso ng isang tao. I wanted to scream all the fear, pain, and hatred that I was feeling.

However, all of these won't come out because from the very start, I was already inside the cage. My thoughts, my pain, my survival is all behind the bars that no one will be able to notice. Even my voice has been stolen away from me as I feel the cold steel being pressed in my waist every time a few sobs come out of my mouth.

"Please. Itigil mo na po..." mahinang bulong ko.

Pinipilit kong lakasan ang loob ko. I was trying so hard to be brave, despite the fact that I was slowly melting like a candle. Nonetheless, the poisoned air that melts me makes his thinking even more erratic.

Gusto ko lang naman kumain kahit kaonti because I can't find Nana Yoli. I was forced to get out of my room to get myself something to eat. Akala ko umalis siya at may inasikaso because I heard them talking about it earlier! So, what is he doing here?!

I just want to have a peaceful life! Why do I have to suffer like this? Why does it have to be me?

Kaya ngayon ay naabutan niya akong sa kusina't dito naman inaabuso. Hindi manlang natatakot kung may ibang makakita. He had the guts to do such a thing, as if he had been blessed by the demon.

"A-aww!" daing ko nang sampalin niya ako.

He burst out laughing. He was like a madman who had been drugged to make him act like way. Mas dinuro niya sa ulo ko ang baril kaya napapikit ako sa takot.

Dahil doon ay parang isang namatay na halaman ang aking mga binti at naging lantang gulay sa panlalambot, na kung hindi lamang ako nito hawak sa kanang braso ay malamang dumausdos na ako sa semento.

"Maya!" Isang malakas na sigaw ang narinig ko galing sa kabilang direction.

I was about to look on my right side pero someone already embraced their arm around me. Sa pag-amoy ko pa lang at sa hair ng tao, I already know who it is.

"Rara! What took you so long? Sabi mo you'll just wash your hands?" She let go of me and fixed her messy but gorgeous curly hair.

"Eh kasi parang tanga si Emeniano. Pinagtawanan ko muna kaya natagalan ako. Hehe." Nagsimula na naman siyang mag-laugh kaya medyo umatras ako ng konti. Mamaya niyan ay bigla niyang hilahin ang hair ko, gawain pa naman niya 'yon. Ang hirap pa naman mag-ayos ng hair.

"Ano ba ang ginawa ni Emen at tawa ka nang tawa? Kulang na lang ata lumabas 'yong throat mo para mas maramdaman ko na tuwang-tuwa ka," I told her.

I look at her weirdly as she keeps on laughing like there's no tomorrow. She looks like a witch from heaven—wait, does heaven have witches?

"Hinabol niya kasi si—Roela tapos... tapos..." Hindi niya matapos-tapos ang sinasabi niya dahil napuputol iyon ng pagtawa niya. Paano kaya ako makaka-relate kung ayaw niyang ikwento? Hay!