My Name Is Depression

Chapter 23

Warning: violence

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Waking up every morning feels like a torture, knowing that pain are the one who will greet you.

I stared at my wrist, which has scars all over. Some are small cuts but most of them are long. I caress it as I reminisce about the time when they brought me to the hospital, where they needed to examine me and take my statement of what happened.

I was laying down on the bed with women getting their things ready. I stared at the blind lights at the ceiling. They gave me oxygen earlier when I was having a hard time catching my breath. It was because I couldn't stop crying and I was having an episode that I couldn't control myself anymore.

"The forms for documenting the procedure and evidence are ready."

"Tubes and containers for blood and urine samples are ready. As well as the paper bags for collecting clothing and other physical evidence. Swabs for biological evidence collection."

"Dental floss and wooden sticks for fingernails scrapings, glass slides, sterile water and saline. We're now ready."

I could hear them whispering and muttering around me. Wearing their gloves and masks before they start the procedure.

"Are you ready?" she asked me while giving a gentle look.

"Before we start, we will be asking your permission every time we finish a certain procedure, okay? If you say yes, we'll proceed. If you say no, we'll stop immediately. If you feel pain physically, tell us, okay?"

I breathed in as I felt my lips trembling. "Yes," I answered back.

"Are you ready, Malaya?"

I answered back before I closed my eyes. I can hear the multiple shots from the camera as they took a picture of the bruises on my body. They wiped the cotton in every open wound either in my arms and legs.

"Are you ready?"

I bit my lower and tried to suppress my cries when they took a swab in my private area.

They collected the biological evidence such as my saliva, blood, semen, urine by taking swabs in my skin, genitalia, anus, and mouth. They're scraping under my fingernails and combing my hair.

They used a device to see the fingerprint marks all over my body. I was holding the doctor's hand as the procedure went on and it took about an hour for them to finish it.

I closed my eyes when the lights turned on.

"Malaya, we're done."

I started sobbing when they're finally done. It hurts me every time they wipe my body to collect the evidence. Doing a rape kit feels like a torture because everytime they touched my wounds, the bruises, and marks, the memories brings back.

I remember how he punched me, how his hands grace all over my skin, his tongue, and his moan. Everything are ringing inside my head that it's twisting my heart in pain.

"We're here, Malaya. You're okay. You're not alone."

I heard them comforting me as they let me cry in tears.

I was brought back to reality when I heard a sound. I was in my parent's room and I'm currently alone. I looked at my back, the bedroom's right side, and I saw someone enter through the window.

He was wearing a hoodie and pants. And I saw how his lips slowly formed into a smirk.

"Finally..."

My eyes grew wider when I recognized his voice.