My Name Is Depression

Chapter 26

Stepping out of our house, the wind ruffled through my hair and smacked at my face, I was overcome with nostalgia. I grin when I hear the rustling of the trees and the distant sounds of the neighbors' voices outside the house.

How many years since I left this place? Seven years or almost eight, I suppose? It's been so long...

I miss being here in the province. So, I planned to roam around today.

This place is where my monster was created, where the darkness inside of me arises and now here I am, coming back with a huge smile plastered all over my face.

Nandito ako ngayon sa lugar kung saan ako nasira, at ngayon ay bumalik akong buong-buo. Na kahit alalahanin ko ang lahat, I will only smile bitterly but I would never cry even a single tear because I have finally found my freedom. I didn't find it in any place, but I found it inside of me.

When I surrender everything; every memory, the tears that I shed, the painful screams, scars and bruises. I surrendered it all to my parents and asked for their help, that's when I started seeking for my peace.

And when everything is in its rightful places, that's the time where I finally found my peace. Those people who ruined me are now paying for what they did. Those years that I stayed in the institution, the support and love that I received from my family, and the courage that I had to study again.

The happiness I felt when I finished my bachelor's degree. The excitement my heart had when I walked inside the medical school for my first day, and when I walked in the aisle to receive my diploma for finishing my masters.

I found my peace because of all of my desires and goals that I'm now slowly achieving.

I can finally say that I have my freedom now because having my peace is freedom.

And now, I decided to rest first and planned going back here in the Philippines. I have reached one of my dreams and that is to finish my bachelors and masters, and right now, I want to achieve the other dream that I had since I left the institution. But I wouldn't be able to have them if I'm not here in the Philippines.

I removed the lock of the gate and slowly opened them. Dahil na sa ground ang tingin ko, the first thing that I saw was a pair of white shoes and dark jeans.

I slowly lifted up my gaze and my eyes locked to the person who has a huge part in my heart. He's giving me a warm smile while holding a bouquet of red roses.

"You finally came back..." he mumbled, eyes glistening.

I was rooted in my place as I stared back. Shocked because I didn't expect him to be here. I was just planning on how to find him and approach him.

A tear escaped my eyes, and it's not from pain, but because of the overflowing happiness I'm feeling right now. I felt more nostalgic upon seeing his face. His facial features look more mature now but there are still hints of innocence. He really has a baby face.

It's been years since I last saw that face. We decided to move out of the province and went out of the country, without informing them.

"Concordio..." bulong ko.

"Hi..." he shyly replied. He was scanning my face as if he was trying to remember them.

I was speechless and I don't know what I should reply. I don't want to say anything. I only want to hug him because I miss him so much.

I was preparing myself for the possibilities that he had found another person to love. But seeing him here with a bouquet is a proof that I should stop thinking of him having a family.